Is this just a phase?

xcloudy
Mon, 22 Oct 2012 18:45:14 +0000

I’m in a rigorous engineering course at a top university and although I’m keeping up, I’m not doing so well. Right now I feel like I’m struggling and still on the border of a B-/B in my two engineering intro classes (I have an A in calc and my non-engineering course, though)- and I graduated top 1% in my high school. My work load is huge too; it’s literally one thing after another. A lack of sleep affects me more than most teenagers and I’m tired all the time (which leads me to finishing my hw later, which leads me to sleeping late again…it’s a vicious cycle). I also get distracted VERY easily

I’ve always been an introvert because I feel “detached” from the outside world, but over the last three years I’ve developed pretty good social skills. I have plenty of friends and a lot are even upperclassmen. However, I still feel that detachment and I constantly feel I have no actual, meaningful relationships with anyone. It feels almost superficial. Even though my family and I didn’t get along very well, at least the relationships were more solid.

I just feel lost. For the first time in my life, I feel like I really want a boyfriend. I’ve never had any complaints about being single EVER. In fact, I’ve never had a serious boyfriend before and I was always the one who did the dumping because I preferred being single. This is so out of character for me and I’m embarrassed by it, and I believe it is because I just feel a void and have lost the solidity that was previously filled through school, family, and friends.

I’m not homesick or anything, I just feel so meaningless. Is this just a phase, or should I do something about it?