Is this obsession healthy

07DAD
Sun, 11 Mar 2007 21:43:29 +0000

I think alot of kids don’t realize that these are the best years of their lives, it doesn’t get much better than this. Best to enjoy while you can.



Ray111-- I believe that students need to know high school is ***not ***the best that it gets. Life as a young adult and then as an adult is “better” than the pre-adult period of high school. I think what is misunderstood is what makes any time in your life “good” or “better.”

Is high school “great” because the parents often pay for most essentials and perhaps provide extras? Is this what makes life wonderful? I don’t think so.

My S is looking forward to being more on his own. I have limited my financial contribution to college so that he has to contribute to the process. With that being said, he has full choice of where he attends. He is in the extreme minority of the students at his prep school since almost all the parents have essentially taken over the college decision making process for their S or D. THERE is where so much of the pressure comes. Living up to Mom and/or Dad’s expectations.

I have offered to provide S an option to going straight on to college. I offered an around the world ticket, but he has to pay for everything else for that year. He has risen to the occasion, setting up jobs and planning a travel agenda that fits within what he has to spend.

I have a great deal of involvment at my S’s school but it is related to volunteering not making his course selections, telling him when and how often to take what standardized test, etc. Nor did I select his interests outside school or provide tutors for the standardized test. He mentioned several guys that he knew who were required to go to prep courses all summer to prepare for the SAT. He asked why anyone would want to get admitted to school that he only qualified for based on this level of extra prep.

I have yet to see any student that I believe has high anxiety that does not have freaked out parents looking over their shoulders.

Many parents on CC simply are seeking advice or want to share their experience. However, many are on the quest to get the inside scoop on how to get their kid in the “right” scool. If that was left to the student with reasonable guidance from professions, I believe the process would not be as insane as it is for many students and parents.