ISL Soccer - how difficult to make the team?

gardenstategal
Fri, 05 Mar 2021 11:14:28 +0000

While this started about soccer, it’s kind of drifted back into this discussion about exceptional kids. And teams, of course, do not welcome all comers.
I would encourage you to remind them to take advantage of all they can in every realm. In particular, I would tell them to do whatever it is that sparks joy in themselves regardless of whether they are good at it.

We live in a culture that places, imho, way too much emphasis on doing things (extremely) well rather than for the pleasure of doing them and marking personal improvement. There’s a wonderful Kurt Vonnegut quote out there about someone telling him at 15 that it was OK to pursue things he didn’t do well because they would make him a more interesting person and how that advice changed his life.

It’s great to want to be your best. But in many cases, it’s less productive to want to be better than everyone else. You can’t control everyone else, and you run the risk of missing a wonderful journey because of the focus on the wrong destination. And you also can miss out on enjoying the gifts of those around you if they make you green with envy.

And in the context of sports, I had a kid who started on the thirds team his freshman year and didn’t make varsity until his junior year. He was an all league player senior year and had offers of roster spots at several D3 colleges he considered. I attribute this to several things, including lots of playing time on every team he was on, great coaching, and a work ethic that would not be sustainable without loving to play. I mention this because the slow path in his case actually took him further. So if your kid doesn’t make varsity freshman year, it’s hardly the end of their career. (It’s easy to lose perspective, especially if you are on the sidelines with a lot of parents…)