Job Issue- How would you handle this?

Chedva
Fri, 09 Jul 2010 09:18:30 +0000

My D just keeps crying about it and feeling like she failed somehow, although she has no idea what she did.

If for no other reason than this, your D should contact the production manager.

Your H is teaching your daughter a poor lesson - don’t stand up for yourself, don’t ask questions, just take whatever anyone dishes out, and always assume that you know exactly what happened and who acted badly. She needs to learn to stand up for herself - a difficult proposition for many women who believe themselves to be conciliators and hate conflict. You will never get what you want until you learn to ask for it.

The question I always ask is, “What’s the worst that could happen?” In this scenario -

1. If I send the e-mail or talk to the production manager, and he doesn’t like it or I did something wrong, (a) he’ll tell me or (b) he won’t. If he tells me, then maybe it’s something I can work on. If he doesn’t tell me, then I haven’t lost anything since I don’t know any less than I did before.

2) If I send the e-mail or talk to the production manager, and I didn’t do anything wrong, he’ll probably tell me. And then I could have a good reference.

3) If I don’t send the e-mail or talk to the production manager, I’ll never know what happened, I’ll worry about it, and I’ll lose what could have been a valuable reference.

There is nothing wrong with the inquiries suggested here. There is something definitely wrong with letting it go.