Lack of maturity?

PurpleTitan
Sat, 25 Jan 2020 18:51:24 +0000

So, a few thoughts:

1. Teens and 20-year-old normally and naturally go to sleep later and wake up later (scientists have researched this; maybe there's an evolutionary advantage). After 40, he will wake up early like old people do. When I was in college, if I had no restrictions, I would sleep 3AM or after and wake up around noon. Now I find it easier to wake up at 6AM than to sleep until noon. Why fight against nature for no discernable gain?

2. Ultimately, you can't live his life. Only he can. Ask him what he wants out of life. Does he have goals? Does he have a dream life? They probably won't be your goals or your dream life, but assuming that you don't need him to provide for you, they don't have to be. Back him wholeheartedly on reaching those goals. But explain that no matter the goal(s), to live his dream life requires dedication and sacrifices and almost always hard work. He is the only one who can live his life. He's master of his own destiny.
Why set goals and try to reach them? Why not play XBox all day? Because of the feeling of accomplishment you get when you set a goal that you think is at the limit of your potential and you reach it. And because of the growing he will do when he strives for that. Also potentially financial rewards, independence, all that good stuff. Will playing XBox help him reach the dream life that he wants? I would ask him that.
About his dream life: It has to be his own. Not what you want or expect from him. Not what society expects from him. What HE wants. He may not be willing to confide to his mom, especially since (IMO), you come across as pretty judgemental with strong ideas of what is proper/good (which probably aren't his ideas). But ask him to think about it. He doesn't have to tell anyone. But he should think about the life he wants to have and how he wants to apply his abilities a decades, 2 decades, 3 decades from now. How would he reach his dream life?