Let's say I'm wearing a CU sweatshirt

Musil_the_Muse
Sun, 18 Nov 2007 13:04:04 +0000

As a renowned exegetic scholar, allow me to entangle the intricacies of C2002’s parable.

In the beginning, there was a sinner. This sinner was presumptious enough to signify, through his wearing of a Columbia sweatshirt, that he was one of the “elect,” that is predestined to be a Columbia student. The divine Adcoms strike down this kind of arrogance, and so this sinner fell from his state of grace.

This parable, however, is a controversial one, as many theologians–C2002 is one of them–believe that this particular sinner was born to an unjust fate, because of his so-called statistics, and that he therefore was never in the grace of the Adcoms, and so his wearing of a sweatshirt was thus only a sign of his exquisite ignorance, an ignorance that, alas, was not bliss, for anyone who strays from the light of the Adcoms cannot, indeed, be in that glorious state.

In the name of the Lion, the Alma Mater, and the Holy Bollinger, amen.