Life at sea

Zaphod
Thu, 08 Mar 2007 09:56:43 +0000

TGo…

I’ve been mulling your question for a bit and I’m going to make an assumption and comment based on it.

Let me guess… You have a girlfriend and you’re worried about losing her? Let’s proceed assuming I’m right (if I’m not, then the advice is applicable to any number of others, so I’m not wasting anyone’s time).

First, some background to show you I’m not the heartless ■■■■■■■ a few here think I am. When I went into NAPS in 1986, I had a girlfriend. Smart, funny, and sizzling hot. I was in heaven. I thought we’d be together forever. Oops. Didn’t work that way. Took me FOUR YEARS to get over her (I was a bit of a sap, actually). Such is life. The point is, I’ve been where you are.

You are considering being a Midshipman at the United States Naval Academy and upon graduation an officer in Naval Special Warfare. I want you to fully grasp the level of commitment that accomplishment takes and the stress on other priorities it will entail. You are choosing what is perhaps the most difficult career path anyone in the Navy can take. You are to be commended for that, but you should also be warned.

That’s where I come in. :D

You need to sit down ALONE and make some VERY HARD decisions, and you need to do it NOW.

If you TRULY want to go to USNA and you TRULY want to be a SEAL afterwards, then you have to decide what that’s worth. Is the girl more important? Is partying in school more important? Is having rugrats running around more important? Is making big bucks later in life more important? If the answer to ANY of those questions is “yes”, then stop applying right now and don’t bother because you won’t make it. Your priorities aren’t in order. Save your efforts.

IF, on the other hand, your stated goals of USNA and SEAL are the paramount thing, then you have no choice but to pursue them with all the required intensity and be ready to deal with the possible consequences.

I really don’t like selfish people (even less so after I divorced one), but in this case, and in this stage of your life, YOU MUST BE RUTHLESSLY SELFISH. NOTHING, and I do mean NOTHING, that in any way can threaten your desired goal can be permitted to remain in your way. If your girl gives you trouble, then get rid of her. If your parents give you flak, then ignore them. If your classmates call you a war-mongering baby-killer (BTDT), then laugh in their faces and KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

You are in a stage in your life where EVERY DECISION YOU MAKE will reverberate not for years but for DECADES. You are playing with YOUR future here, and NO ONE is going to have more of a stake in that future than YOU.

Now, I know that sounds harsh, but it’s REALITY. I know this because I lived it myself 20 years ago, and I bloody well wish someone had smacked me around like this when I was your age. Would have done me no end of good.

Having beaten you over the head, let me now offer you a bit of an olive branch. I am not suggesting that you leave your girl now, or that you never see anyone again, or that you never marry. If your girl sticks with you throughout USNA and throughout your SEAL career, then I would say you’ve found yourself one HELL of a woman and I’d be pretty damned jealous. Do I hope you’ve found her? YES. Is it POSSIBLE for a couple to remain together through such challenges? OF COURSE. It is, however, EXCEEDINGLY RARE. You need to understand the risks inherent in the career path you are choosing to follow. It is a high cost, but in many ways worth it.

So make up your mind. Which is more important: your girl or your future, your emotions now or your career later?

Welcome to adulthood, buddy. It doesn’t get any easier, I’m sorry to say. :(

Good luck. :)