Live at home Freshman Year?

nikkistar
Sun, 26 Oct 2008 12:12:29 +0000

My only son is a college freshman this year at a college approximately 45 min away. His other option was our 2nd largest in-state school here in town. He chose this other school because he wanted to get away from home-although not to far away. I washappy with his choice because I thought if he stayed here in town, and especially if he lived at home he would not have the “college experience” and he would keep hanging with his old high school buddies.
Currently, he does come home about every other Saturday and spends that evening with old high school buddies while spending the night here. From what I hear from him as well as other parents of kids at this school, most of the “local” freshman do go home on weekends.
At first I was bothered by this as I thought he needed to stay on campus and meet new people. After a long talk with him about 2 weeks ago I now realize that he IS meeting new people there, he is having the college experience, he is learning about dorm life and living with others, and as time goes on he will start coming home less. But for now this is what is working best for him.
I want to mention that I have seen tremendous growth in my son over these past 2 months.
I also know people who have successively had kids stay at home. If you do that then the most important thing, and the hardest thing for you as a parent is that you have to treat them like a college kid. Let them stay out with friends all night if they want, don’t impose rules on them like having to be home for supper or having to take the dog for a walk every day. Don’t nag them everyday about studying and their grades. Let your kid make it or break it on their own–just like they would have to do if they were away.
Try to treat them like more of an adult. By all means make sure they clean up after themselves and respect your home–just as they would have to do if they lived in the dorm.
Good luck to you.