Living Together During College

sungkew
Sat, 11 Jun 2016 00:26:26 +0000

To clear up some of the basics that I probably should have mentioned earlier:
My parents aren’t paying for my schooling, no. I’m paying for it on my own through scholarships, loans, and grants. Occasionally, they will pitch in if I need some extra cash, but for the most part, it’s all on me.

As for their opinion on it, I discussed the idea with my father and he said that it was ultimately my choice on where and with whom I wanted to live. I’m eighteen years old right now and he told me that I am responsible for my own decisions and that he would support me no matter what they were. Personally, I think that’s pretty damn amazing. To be honest, I don’t agree with the ideology that you should stop helping your child out with finances based on who they are living with. If you would pay for your child’s housing when they have an apartment with friends, then why not a significant other? Both situations could go sour and the lease could be an issue, so it seems almost condescending to me in a way. Not to offend anyone that feels otherwise, but it’s just an opinion that I can’t really wrap my head around.

Also, in response to @bopper, at my university, if you live anywhere other than freshman dorms (which no one other than freshman can live in), you have to pay for your own food and cook it and keep house. The other housing options are essentially apartments; they’re just on campus.

But back on the topic of whether it’s a good idea or not:

I’ve lived with three female roommates for a year, and this next semester, I will be doing it again. Trust me, I’m getting the whole, as @romanigypsyeyes put it, facemasks and pizza party thing, lol. And I mean, that’s great and all, but it’s something that I can do even if I live with my boyfriend. I’m sure he wouldn’t hate a facial or two. Kidding. But, really, I feel like living with someone doesn’t mean that you’re restricted to seeing that person and that person only. If that were the case, I would have three friends: my roommates from last year. I can still go out and discover myself even while living with my boyfriend, can’t I? I can still go out and do stupid things. Hell, I can do them with him at the very least and feel safer than I would by myself. The only thing that I can’t really do when living with him is hookup with other dudes, and, to be honest, I wouldn’t even do that if I were single, so it doesn’t make much of a difference.

Not to mention the fact that I wonder if the risks of living with your SO rather than living with your friend are really that much greater. I could get an apartment with my friend and we could have a fall out. If he or she decided living together wasn’t working out, we would still have lease issues. It’s basically a fear no matter whom you room with, whether boyfriend, girlfriend, or best friend. And, yes, dorms then I suppose are a good option, but they are more expensive and, to be honest, I’m already one of the few people I know still living on campus. A large population moves into apartments after freshman year here, not to mention after sophomore, and it’s something I’m interested in doing.

And I have considered the separate housing, honestly. It’s why we’re not living together this next coming year, because I want to make sure we’re both prepared for this if it does become a reality. But I would eventually like to move off campus. I just feel like I might be a tad alienated living on campus while everyone I talk to and hang out with is already off, even if they’re only a fifteen minute walk from where I’ll be living. I’ll still miss some stuff, you know? And I suppose I’m just looking for a safe place to transition to and I could see living with my boyfriend being that.

Ohhh, I wrote so much. I’m sorry, aha. But, really, thank you all for your responses. Even though it may seem like I’m stuck in my ways, I do really appreciate the different opinions. They definitely give me perspective on what could possibly go wrong. Me rebuking them is just so that I can potentially fuel more discussion against my own opinions, and that’s something I’m really thankful for.