Making friends as a transfer student

redblue2011
Wed, 24 Oct 2012 20:56:38 +0000

I’m a transfer student at a large, top tier university and I’ve been here for three months. So far I really like it and I think it is a much better fit for me than my old school, but I’m not really sure if I am where I should be socially.

I currently have loads of acquaintances and class friends who I casually talk to and interact with, but I think I’ve been a bit slower about making friends. I guess I can consider the people who I eat meals and interact with outside of class my friends, but I feel like I spend less time with my friends here than I did at my old college. This is probably due to the size of the institution, not having classes with certain people, being very busy a lot of the time, and not having that many people I am friendly with in my dorm, but it makes it feel like my friendships are developing slowly. I’m also the member of a cultural organization and get along with the people in the group and am invited to their social events, but don’t see these people much outside of organization related activities and gatherings.

I feel like I’m supposed to have that group or a more cohesive social circle than I currently do, and I’m not sure if I’m doing anything particularly wrong or if it’s in the nature of this school that people end up accumulating a potpourri of random friends from various places and activities instead of a solid group. I feel like I’m getting to know new people constantly (which I like), but I want to stop floating and anchor myself down to particular individuals more. Is the best way to go about this by spending more time with particular people, being outgoing and amicable, and inviting people places when they don’t take the initiative to invite me? Are there particular behaviors which would make someone discount your potential friendship even if you were a nice and friendly person (e.g. I’m kind of shy and introverted, but am making a point of being more outgoing and proactive so people can realize that I’m a nice person)? As much as anything, I feel like my friendships have to solidify at some stage and it’s just taking time, but as a sophomore I realize that my time in college is already more limited and I don’t want to end up in an awkward social situation where I only have acquaintances and no solid friendships.

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