Marriage during college?

mythmom
Tue, 09 Oct 2007 10:17:46 +0000

I agree with Mombot and those who say there is no blueprint. I taught I young woman who had gotten pregnant at 15 and then again at 17. She married her 17 year-old boyfriend. Both were brilliant. He was already teaching computer classes at Stony Brook at 17. He went to work. She got her GED. When I met her she was 23 and had a six and eight year old. Her 25 year old husband was vice president of a construction company earning much more money than the the architects (which is what he wanted to be.) She was in college. They were stable and happy. Unusual, I know, but it did happen like this.

On the other side, are friends who waited, waited and waited and then found that they couldn’t conceive. And this caused a lot of heartache.

I “lived with” my college boyfriend for 5 years. His support was invaluable to me. We couldn’t have been married; we were that committed. We married after five years, and stayed together another 8 years and then got divorced. I thought we were happy. Thank goodness no children yet, but boy, did I have to scramble.

I taught and wrote my doctoral dissertation while I was pregnant. I taught five classes, got up at 4 to work on dissertation and left the house at 7, in the first trimester! Got hooded and had baby within a month of each other.

Sorry, this is rambling. What I want to say is that if either of my children wanted to marry in college (not likely) I would provide as much financial support as I could, just as if they were still single. I really don’t see why not. These kids have such long odds to achieve so many things with the price of housing, rate of divorce, etc, etc. etc. I would want to help both my kids realize their dreams. I don’t see the rule, “married – self-supporting” as being necessary. Rich people always help kids get set up. I only wish I were so I could buy my daughter that NYC brownstone! (LOL.)