Meddling Grandparents

fineartsmajormom
Sun, 08 Apr 2012 21:49:37 +0000

I am amazed at these stories. So sad! My own grandfather refused to help us financially when Pell grants were cut in the 80’s and I took a semester off to work. I left school heavily in debt. I remember at one point my parents had a few hundred dollars in savings when I finally left school.
My grandfather sneered at my attending a US university and earning a phD in a useless field (economics). Perhaps in reaction to this, my parents have been polar opposites of my grandparents.

My father would love, love to have any grandchild go to his alma mater and has significant pull (famous UK U) but recognizes that it may not be the place for any of them. After I left college, his financial situation improved a great deal. He saved with 529 for all 3 grandkids and it is enough for them to go where they want and graduate debt free. Despite contributing financially to their education, the grandparents have so far been completely supportive. During S’s college search, not ONCE did grandpa opine on our S’s choice of school or, horrors, his intended major–art–despite being a very accomplished scientist. Visiting Duke last month with D we kept running into folks who congratulated the poor kid on having such a famous relative and assumed she would do science too. She is thinking anthropology! Grandparents took a vicarious interest in her college trip and reminded me how I refused to get out of the car at UNC since I had already lost my heart to Duke. They would never want to repeat the trip with another emotional teenager…Jay Matthews is nuts! but they definitely enjoyed talking to her about how difficult her mother was on her college trip…

I hope to have the financial strength to help out my future grandkids in the same way and definitely will be the biggest cheerleader for them finding the right path to reach their goals. The good side of a bad experience is teaching us how to do things better for the next generation.