Mental disabilities in brother

jym626
Wed, 01 Dec 2021 21:25:19 +0000

Maybe the part time job is the best he can manage. At least he is working!! Many, if not most on the spectrum are under-employed, if they are employed at all. And its not surprising that many on the spectrum found their way into academics, where being quirky was ok. Maybe looking at what he is doing rather than what he isn’t doing will help you. Its how I have to reframe my BIL, who has more than his share of issues, has lost several jobs, has blown through his inheritance, and who fabricates and then embellishes stuff and lives off of others. He set up a non profit (thinly veiled way of paying for his previous travels) and for his birthday and for yesterday’s “giving Tuesday”, he put up requests for donations on facebook. More power to him if others give him $. Less for him to try to mooch off of us. He hasn’t worked in probably almost 10 years, and his wife claims every medical malady known to man, and hasn’t worked in probably 25 years. With the help of my DH and some friends, he got a very small grant to help disabled veterans. If he can manage to finish the paperwork to process it, he’ll use the funds to pay himself.

Its really hard to let some of it go when we watch our immediate families work so hard, and then one person in the extended family causes a maelstrom for the rest. One of his son’s is on the spectrum, but rather than help him with access to services and such, and despite all the help many of us in the family have tried to offer, he has never allowed his son to even so much as shovel snow, and at 36 his son sits in his room doing animation on the computer. This son did get a college degree and did get a drivers license, but has been essentially cloistered in the house. Its part of BIL’s own disorder that his son has been essentially imprisoned. Its very sad all the way around, but we as extended family have to decide what is and is not our place to do or say. When I watch the garbage my BIL pulls, it just makes me angry. so for my own peace of mind I have to step back. DH and I have agreed on how much he will give his bro annually, and I have to let it go. I would encourage you to do the same. You will feel much better. Good luck!