Mental Health and Suicide

connections
Tue, 09 Dec 2014 13:21:12 +0000

I am so very sorry for your tragic loss. Thank you for sharing this.

It is a very important issue. Many parents or teachers with children who have these issues are afraid of sharing because a) they feel they’re the only ones to be suffering like this and b) they feel they will be judged and/or want privacy. I hope that as we all discuss this more openly, these fears will go away.

My oldest S had a very bad several years and thankfully is now recovered (at age 25). He is no longer in acting. I do have something to add, and I am saying this not to attack any particular program but to really hope people consider this as a factor: it is a plain fact that there are BFA programs that are less sensitive to these issues, and some that are more sensitive. And it is also a fact that some programs are in fact run in such a way that they contribute to the problem-- for the individual student. It is very individual. Know your child. Do not compare your own child’s reaction with another child. If your child already has issues with depression or other serious mood disorders, do not follow my mistake: Please please consider these issues in selecting a program. Do not hope they will go away because your child will be happier doing what he/she loves. Also, your child is not necessarily the best judge of how he/she will be. I let my S persuade me that a school would be perfect for him against my better judgment. I should have listened to my own life experience, not a 17 year old’s naive enthusiasm.

Again, this is not a comment on a particular program. I know in the past commentators have gotten defensive about their own school. That’s not what this is about. It’s about knowing your child and taking their needs into account when choosing a BFA program and making sure it has supports in place for him/her, and is not run in a way that runs a risk of making your child worse. Your child is not alone, as VoiceTeacher so eloquently points out.