Mixed feelings about my school?

boarderbeauty
Fri, 13 Jan 2017 14:11:42 +0000

Hi all! If you have seen or look at my past posts, you know that I transferred from public Highschool to private boarding school at the start of my junior year. I had a really tough transition, I was crying, homesick, was having panic attacks and falling behind in classes. I even met with the head of admissions to talk about withdrawing if nothing got better. Luckily, things did change for the better. I made many new friends, fell into a routine, and made friends with my teachers. I still have my bouts of hard times but nothing out of the ordinary. Here is where I am conflicted. Our winter break was very long (20 days). At that time I went home and I was with my family and my boyfriend. I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend from home and no doubt he contributed to my hard transition and most of my homesick feelings when I am here. While I was home I was totally okay about me going to boarding school and the fact that I would come back here after break. But towards the end of vacation something just kind of clicked in my mind. I miss the normal. I miss when I had a job and i could expierence working retail but still mess around with co workers my age. I am missing out on getting my license and a car. I miss that when school is over school is pretty much over. No being confined to a campus all the time. I miss driving around with friends and singing silly songs while not having a destination of where we are going. I miss conversations not related to school or homework or college. I miss traditional public schooling and regular high schooler life. Hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends and seeing how carefree they were about the future hit me, I realized me and my friends are constantly wrapped up in school or college or our futures. While that is a good thing it’s this constant in my boarding school life. So now I’m conflicted. I have been back at school for a couple days and while it is super excited to be surrounded by my friends and teachers that i love to death, I have just felt a little disconnnected because even as the teachers said “we are back to the hard reality of school and work.” It may just be a transition back but I find myself missing the carefree ness of my last two years of school more than I have in months. I don’t know what to do about next year. I don’t really have any friends at home except my boyfriend and the school isn’t nearly as good as where I am now and I know my parents would not want me to switch back but I am just craving halving a normal public school less stressed life and the thiught of coming back here next year is kind of scary to me. Any thoughts?