My dad wants me to apply elsewhere... help me!

missamericanpie
Tue, 02 Mar 2010 11:02:16 +0000

This is probably way too personal to get into on this board, but what the heck.

My father tried to serve me up an ultimatum for college, four years ago. Be an MD or pay for it yourself.

I spent four years in high school getting good grades, doing extracurriculars and basically working myself to death, only to be given no choice in choosing colleges when it came to senior year. My parents DID NOT communicate their desires to me CLEARLY, and they spent three years in high school telling me to “do what I love”.

And it broke my heart.

I know that my parents had the right to do it, it was their money, their investment, but looking back, man, I don’t know how I made it through senior year. I chose to walk away from the money. I KNEW I would not be happy as a biology major, knew deep in my heart that I would HATE it and resent them for forcing this on me. So I worked and funded my way through CC and then transferred to NYU. That year in CC was a killer. I cried a lot, worked a lot, studied a lot, and hated everything and everyone. But now I’m here, bleeding Violet and graduating in 2011.

The point to my story is, OP, if it’s meant to happen, it will happen. I would still try to APPLY to NYU and cross that bridge when you get to it. College admissions could be a heartbreaking process if there isn’t clear communication. I’m STILL mending fences with my parents over what happened during high school. Sometimes I think that parents don’t know how much it can hurt when they suddenly say, “oh, well, we won’t pay for college unless you do x, y and z for us”. It’s one thing if they are clear about their intentions, that is totally different. But being that daughter who did say, “fine, I WILL pay for it my own way”, it can be more painful than someone can realize.