My Roommate Has Social Issues

raclut
Mon, 04 Sep 2017 21:53:48 +0000

The people you meet the first week of school may no longer be your friends by end of the semester. There is no rule that if you don’t make friends the first week that you will not have friends. It is not your job to manage his social life. He has the right to take his own time and explore what all his options are on campus. Everyone has a different personality and he is still trying to figure things out. The first few weeks can be a big adjustment for some students. They are now sharing rooms, bathrooms, eating meals out three times a day. It is a complete lifestyle change. He is probably seeing things that he is not used to. Also not everyone is into the party scene.

First semester it is all about transitioning to school, getting used to a new routine, and getting familiar with the campus. Over time he will find his own friends with similar likes and interests that he has. He is just trying to figure out his routine and schedule and manage the academic expectations of his classes. The friends keep changing as you get more involved with school and clubs and meet new people. My daughter is now a senior and she doesn’t really hang out with the students she met freshman year. As she started taking classes in her major she got to know more of her classmates and now as a senior she pretty much knows everyone in her classes. They work on group projects together and have had several classes together. She has also made friends she met in activities she has joined. She is on the more quiet side and not into the drinking and partying crowd but over time she was able to find her own group where she fit in. That doesn’t mean that she has social issues it is just that she is not into that scene.

Give him space to do things according to his own timeline. Unless there is a serious problem like his not attending his classes or seems to be struggling I would let it go. Offer him an opportunity to join you if you are attending something fun that you think he would enjoy but let him decide what he is comfortable with. If you feel he is spending too much time alone mention it to the RA or encourage him to attend the activities fair to find fun things he will enjoy.

Some people are outgoing and some people are introverted or like their alone time to relax. He could be a bit self conscious. I don’t think this person has social issues and it is wrong to give him that label when he hasn’t done anything wrong or hurt anybody. He just has a different personality than you. @Bodangles I believe is a senior in college and has been very helpful to students on this forum so I have full respect and appreciation for her opinions. Stop treating him like he is a problem to fix. That comes off as condescending and I personally would be offended if someone thought of me in that way. People have learning disorders or medical issues and that is ok. Don’t make him feel like he is different. For some people it takes time. Give him to at least mid semester to adjust and find his own ground. You seem to be expecting him to jump right in and be very social and not everyone has that type of personality. Some students don’t feel comfortable till spring of their freshman year. I know many students that were unhappy their first semester of college but finally got comfortable by end of freshman year.