My Son has No Friends!

prpdd
Tue, 04 Nov 2008 10:33:12 +0000

Annebelle,

Not sure any of us can really answer that question better than you because you are the expert on your son. For example, we know from years of living with prpdd, jr. that we’re most likely to hear from him when he’d had a tough day and that he tends to unload on us. I think he hangs up the phone generally feeling better because he’s got these things off his chest and it’s his parents who then spend the next week worrying. In fact, we have definitely noticed that whenever we call him he seems to be pretty happy, and it’s only when he calls us (which can be pretty infrequently) that he’s had a tough day.

Also, you need to really find out why your son is unhappy. A lot of kids complain that “no one likes me; no one understands me, I don’t have a best friend”. But if in talking with him it sounds like he has a group of people he hangs out with it’s probably nothing to worry about. If he has these complaints and really seems to be ostracized and alone you obviously have a more serious problem - particularly if this situation hasn’t changed by the middle of the year.

Also, is the problem something that’s likely to change? If he’s generally pretty happy, except that he and his roommate don’t get along, that’s a problem that will to away at the end of the year. If it’s more of a situation that he really misses home, and feels like he doesn’t fit in with anyone - that may be tougher problem.

Ultimately, the best person to speak with is your son’s advisor/dorm parent. He should have a pretty good idea of how well your son is fitting in. Also, as someone who sees and deals with a lot of boys and knows the school well, he is in a good position to let you know whether this school may not be a good match for your son. Finally, is also in the best position to watch this situation going forward, and maybe help your son fit in better.

Hope this helps.