My Son has No Friends!

D_yer_Maker
Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:55:06 +0000

Periwinkle is right. Not every cry for help is a false positive.

But if you set a timetable, don’t clue your child onto that. If you want to give this a fair chance, s/he can’t have enough information or insight into your intentions so that s/he can “game” the result.

And if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. It’s not like there’s failure in embarking down this path, giving it a shot, and having your child learn more about himself. It’s all about “fit” and figuring it out. Just remember that high school is rarely a ready-to-wear off the rack experience for anyone. Don’t give up prematurely simply because there’s that option.

Full disclosure: I’m biased towards you finding that ever-mystiical “fit” at BS because I was similarly distressed when my S started out (in his case during a residential summer program and even for some time at BS afterwards). I know firsthand that it’s possible for the parental anxiety to drag on and then still have your child take wing and soar. I’m also cognizant that my experience isn’t universal. I just want to let you know that believing it will still work out at this point is a realistic belief and not a pipe dream. I’ll also be up front and let you know that to see that through isn’t going to be easy. And you’ll have to put lots of faith in the adults at the school and lose sleep and be firm with your child…as the second you define an exit path, that will likely be the one that’s chosen. Whatever you do, play that card close to your vest.