NCP income

SimpleLife
Wed, 30 Jul 2014 02:14:04 +0000

Huh. That’s interesting, cptofthehouse. Perhaps I did not realize just HOW fortunate we were! Colleges did ask that question, right up front, and my kids WERE getting child support, through the state, right up until the month they graduated from high school. But still, every single college patiently explained the exact procedures to waive the NCP data, and each school, for each kid, ultimately issued the waiver.

I actually remember reading other peoples’ responses to other OPs that there’s no use in trying to fight the system, colleges weren’t going to issue NCP waivers if the kids were getting child support. I would sometimes chime in and say, basically, “Oh, yes, they will … sometimes!” And sometimes well-meaning people would argue with me that this couldn’t be true. But it was and it is.

In my kids’ cases, every school wanted, at a minimum, copies of the pertinent pages of the divorce decree, child support, and child custody orders. Some wanted a lot more than that, to include notarized letters and other stuff. I think that all schools wanted a letter from the kid in question, if I remember right. At any rate, my kids each wrote them to each school. And all wanted a written statement from me, summarizing the issue.

There were a few things that likely made our case different than most, as I consider all of this so many years later. And one of them is quite significant.

Dad lost access to the children, by court order, and that was (obviously) documented in the child custody agreement and other documents. We had joint custody (which is actually a series of legal rights to oversee and act upon their health, education, etc, and NOT what most people assume to be “custody”), but we did not have joint access (which is what most people mistakenly call “custody”). I was the custodial parent and had unlimited access. He was the NCP but had court-ordered loss of access to the kids themselves, yet full rights and access to their education, healthcare, and other records until they were 18. I was told that judges will sometimes restrict access in order to protect the children, but they’ll stop short of removing legal “custody” (the parent’s legal rights) because that is a far harder legal hill to climb.

I rarely reveal private details like this to anybody, much less on a public forum! But what the hell … it’s years after the fact, less freaky this many years later, and the specifics of our private experience may help others who are in similar situations. BUT, I do still feel compelled to add (to complete strangers!) that I did not ask for this arrangement – lest anybody jump to the conclusion that this was a matter of systematically “alienating” a dad from his children, or any other “game.” This order was issued by the judge years into a long conflict, without my request and without my input.

The children wanted and needed the restricted access and expressed as much to each college.

Perhaps this is the sole difference that set my kids’ cases apart.

I don’t want to say a whole lot more than that.

Our diligence and willingness to jump through a large assortment of hoops to provide every single piece of requested documentation could not have hurt.

I do not mean to imply that this was a simple process, but it certainly seemed reasonable and fair from the very start. We felt as though we were treated very respectfully and very fairly by each school. Each school made the process straight forward.

To others out there, if this is similar to your situation, I suggest you apply for the waivers. We found it to be a fair system.

If your family has not suffered through a similar experience, I hope you won’t use this knowledge of my family’s very personal experience to attempt to falsely request your own waivers. We had to provide a great deal of legal documentation to back up our claims. You likely will, too.

All my best to all of the families that have to face this whole uncooperative-NCP issue. It’s so unfair to the kids! But I also understand why schools supposedly issue so few waivers. There are uncooperative custodial, married parents, too! Why might divorced parents have more “rights” to be “uncooperative” for financial advantages than still-married parents? It’s all very complicated! If only parents would just take care of their kids. Problem solved!