Need advice on college choice, $$, etc.

SlackerMomMD
Sun, 06 Mar 2016 14:31:00 +0000

. I find a bit of a disconnect between the OP’s frugal lifestyle and the prospect of paying for any college at any cost. It may be difficult to make that course change when it comes time to write the check.

I think @Themclos hit on the crux of the matter. The OP and spouse have lived frugally their entire adult lives. It must be difficult to suddenly change one’s spending philosophy from “Let’s consider cost, value, need versus want” to “Cost is not an issue”. Hopefully the son realizes this.

However, I would totally understand if the son feels betrayed by his parents when they tell him now, three months AFTER being ACCEPTED into his top choice, that his true choices are the in state schools, no matter how good they are. My advice would be to own the mistake, apologize to the child and accept the anger, frustration and resentment if that is the immediate outcome. Work to regain the child’s trust.

I’m not going to tell the OP how to spend the hard earned money. Obviously if the OP doesn’t want to pay for Princeton, the son isn’t going to Princeton. That’s the easy part. The hard part is managing the parent-child relationship.