Need advice on college choice, $$, etc.

Themclos
Sun, 06 Mar 2016 13:47:34 +0000

@phunt01810 - this is not about a spoiled child. No parent is ever obligated to pay for a dream school, even an Ivy. That is not what happened here. These parents guided their son and helped him craft a list of prospective schools, all of which were excellent, and told their son that money was not a concern. They did not craft a list that would provide their son with strong merit or full pay possibilities. Once the acceptances rolled in and it was time to pay the piper, they are considering reneging on the entire plan and their agreement. Ultimately, they can chose to do whatever they want, and they will have to live with the consequences. But they have given us no indication that there was a life event which has impacted their finances. Indeed, the OP has said they can afford it.

Most on this site would agree that having a specific conversation about college finances and the amount which the family can/will pay ahead of the application process is the key, and that parents are well within their right to lay out their own terms, whatever they may be.

I have seen this same scenario a couple of times, and the results are not pretty. Relationships are damaged. Trust is a delicate thing. It takes little effort to destroy it.

@Mom2aphysicsgeek - I can understand people being concerned about the economy and the prospect of an impending 6 figure expense. We all follow our own economic view. The future is never guaranteed. I advocate treating college savings in the same way we are advised to treat retirement savings - untouchable, except for the purpose it was intended. If the OP had always intended to fully fund college (as stated), then their lifestyle has not been predicated on having this money. Indeed, they have done without for many years. The only way one amasses a sizable college fund or retirement fund is to sacrifice. The OP has not indicated they have had a significant life event or that they fear a global recession. The OP has implied (rather strongly) that they would rather have the money for their retirement. If one’s view is that it is best to take the frugal road in all things (even college costs), there is nothing wrong with that. I find a bit of a disconnect between the OP’s frugal lifestyle and the prospect of paying for any college at any cost. It may be difficult to make that course change when it comes time to write the check.