Need insight. Please, grade my essay.

argbargy
Sun, 30 Dec 2012 14:41:34 +0000

Not super excited by this essay because again your thesis seems to be very mushy. You agree that the agree that things arent always as they seem and then just list three examples of where that was the case. There is no because or rationale of why that is the case.

After complaining to a friend about an unsuccessful day of fish with new lures, I was told “the point of fishing lures is to catch fishermen, not fish”, and ding! everything snapped into focus. The fancy lures with lurid colors, spinning gizmos and a lot of text explaining how the rubber was imbued with patented bloodworm scent was to attract me not the fish. The fish cant read all this marketing come on!

Lets say that your thesis was more specific like "Things are not always the same as what seem because the fundamental nature of life seem to be to deceive, to conceal, and to mask weakness and play up strengths. "

Now you could use all sorts of things as examples- crocodiles appear to be asleep, to lull prey into carelessness. All sorts of animals use startle coloration to warn predators away, some adopting the markings of a dangerous venomous specious when they are not.

The animal that did not have any guile and was exactly what it seemed was the dodo. As soon as there were predators on its small island the bird was quickly hunted to extinction.

You could use your Arabian Nights example with this thesis. Scheherazade presented complete confidence and power- stopping her stories whenever she wished and start new stories unasked. In reality she was powerless and the king could have killed her at any time but the fact that she acted like she had all the power, and was completely unconcerned with the weakness of her position had the kind wrapped around her finger.