Need insight. Please, grade my essay.

argbargy
Sun, 30 Dec 2012 10:20:54 +0000

I kind of like the conversational tone of starting with “sure” and the rhetorical questions. I dont like stuff like “myriad negative yields” and the " exacerbating" sentence.

Notice that you kind of box yourself in a bit because you view this as a technology question- which the prompt did not specify. So this limits your ability to talk about politics or even transnational governing bodies that could be problematic. For instance you could have used the EU debt crisis as an example if you had limited your scope to technology.