Need insight. Please, grade my essay.

rhshanks
Sun, 30 Dec 2012 03:13:40 +0000

Thank you for the advice argbargy

In brief, you are saying that my points are not valid enough and are of weak quality and that I use unnecessary fancy language such as “behind the scene” and “This is all thanks to technology” and, also, the use of rhetoric questions such as “What happened?”.

From now on, I guess I’ll have to focus on making better my points during outlining since the outlining is the main factor in determining whether the essay is good or bad.