Need unbiased opinion

milee30
Wed, 08 Aug 2018 17:55:01 +0000

“What harm can come from OP reaching out to ask?”

While that approach appeals to those of us who are direct, it could be considered rude to some people because there may not be a polite, truthful answer. When faced with a direct question, “are you comfortable with us staying at your house?” some would find it difficult to politely answer no. It’s unfortunate, because it would be much easier and sensible if we could all ask each other directly how the other person feels, but the reality is that many people will be uncomfortable with the question and struggle with how to phrase an answer. Especially if the truth is unpleasant. Almost nobody is going to directly reply to someone else that they truthfully don’t want them in their house because they’re messy or they smell or they clip their toenails and leave them on the coffee table. Instead, most polite people will struggle to find a diplomatic answer or defer to the expected answer “of course you are welcome.”

IOW, asking people directly about how they feel about uncomfortable or awkward issues is unlikely to generate an honest response and more likely to increase the awkwardness.