New Student/Family Orientation

paying3tuitions
Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:45:59 +0000

I recall we were assigned a late hour move-in around 2 or 3 p.m. We stopped by the night before to ask the Resident Assistant (RA) in a friendly, informal way if we could look for a moment at any triple in that dorm. The RA unlocked the closest triple for us. They’re very busy so this was nice of him. We glanced at it for a few minutes, so we could understand the setup much better for last-minute shopping.

As for the first arrival taking the first bed, I’d like to offer another suggestion. Consider they’ll be living with these 2 other people all year. Getting a friendly, cooperative feeling in the room will solve many problems down the road.

My recommendation is to unpack but don’t assign beds until all 3 are in the room, then come up with something fair. Maybe the students can agree ahead to flip coins, or plan to rotate beds every few months, or jockey the advantageous aspects of the room. For example, the worst bed choice next to the best window view.

Triples have the option of 3 on-floor beds (but less floor space) or using two as bunks and keeping the 3rd bed free-standing. There are advantages to each one. The bunks are wooden beds and very solid, unlike shaky metal-frame summer camp bunk beds.

You might find among the 3 roommates that some have strong preferences and others care hardly at all. By grabbing the first, you set up a vibe that is unfair and can throw off the one who arrives last, no fault of his own.

As I recall, my S and his first roommate arrived within their allotted time, from way across the country. The 3rd guy, who actually had the shortest journey, arrived hours late, due to car trouble/late departure/parental angst/whatever.

Finally the two present had to decide and began to set up camp on the two lower beds, leaving him the top bunk. When he arrived, you could see it just broke his day that his parents’ late departure had cost him a fair chance at a bed choice.

So the 3 boys got together after dinner and just rearranged it all. That was the start of an excellent freshman year and all are still great friends.

I guess it’s worth thinking about how important it is to you to get the best bed first vs. establishing some kind of working process with your roommates to work out issues all year.

I hope they’re still doing this, but I recall the RA’s mandatory floor meeting helped every set of roommates draw up a contract about basic courtesies. This was really helpful to get things started well and gave them something to refer back to in later months.

P.S. On move-in day, the boys did much better after all 6 parents left the room. :)

PPS, Our guy liked the candle ceremony as the place to hug us and say goodbye…but then we’re big on rituals. It’s dark by then so nobody sees you cry. We moodged back to our hotel room. It was fine.