Not Enjoying College

pianodolphin
Wed, 17 Dec 2014 04:06:34 +0000

Hello all,

I am a freshman finishing up my first term in college this week. I am attending a fairly top tier college, one that many would consider a dream school. It’s a step down from Ivy League level, but is nevertheless a fantastic school and considered to be a great balance of academics, sports, social life, location, etc. So when I got accepted, I was very excited, and couldn’t wait to start the new chapter of my life.

However, during the summer, I started to feel very apprehensive of college and dreaded having to leave home. That sinking feeling of dread only worsened as I got closer and closer to leaving, and when I finally moved in, I spent the first week or two feeling absolutely horrible. I’m thankfully no longer feeling sad 24/7, but I’m still not enjoying myself.

My biggest problem is that I don’t really have any friends. During the early weeks, I tried as hard as I could to be outgoing and make friends, but I was unsuccessful. The school definitely has an active party culture, and I’m not into that. I’m very introverted and want to have a friend group like I did in high school where we could talk and laugh for hours, have a Harry Potter marathon, go out to eat together, or other things of that sort. Yet it seems like everyone here defines fun as getting wasted. I’m not personally against drinking but it’s just not for me. I’d like to find other people who feel the same way, but I’m not succeeding. The few people I have met that I’ve felt like I might want to be friends with never turned into anything. So I’m basically eating every meal alone, always walking to class alone, and spending most of my free time in my dorm room. I’ve tried out clubs but only one was what I wanted and even that hasn’t led to friendships outside of the club, but rather just something to do once a week.

The next problem has to do with the dorm room. I live in a triple room, and we share a bathroom with another 3 people next door. All 5 of them became best friends right away and exclude me from everything. They will often be in our room and doing things like Secret Santa gift exchanges, ordering food, etc, and not seem to care that I’m right there and was never asked if I wanted to take part. They are heavy partiers and are often come into the room drunk and loud when I’m trying to sleep. Even when they are sober, they are super loud and annoying (they will have phone calls in the room, listen to their music on full blast even if I’m trying to work, gossip about hot guys they want to make out with, etc). So I don’t feel like I can really get any privacy in my dorm room because chances are high that at least one of my roommates will be there, and I feel kind of uncomfortable around them because I can tell that they don’t like me, and I don’t know why. I hope to get a single room next year, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to as they are limited.

I don’t even know what I want to do for a career. I’m a Biology major but I know being a doctor isn’t my calling, and I don’t know if I want to go to Grad school based on how this transition into college has gone. I might be better off just entering the work field after college, but I don’t know what jobs I’ll even be able to get. So unlike in high school when I was always working towards getting into college, I don’t even know what I’m working towards and feel much less motivated.

My classes have been pretty good - I actually kind of enjoy going to class and even studying because it keeps my mind off the fact that I don’t have much of a life… I don’t have my grades yet and still have another final to take, but I’m expecting all A’s this quarter and maybe even some A+'s, which I’m happy about.

I guess my biggest regret is that I chose a college away from home. Even though I’m only 2 hours away, I don’t have a car with me and it’s just not easy for me to get home. I went home for Thanksgiving and it was amazing, but then coming back was very difficult. I’m going home in a few days for winter break and am beyond excited, but I’m already dreading having to come back again. Thinking about doing two more quarters before summer break sounds horrible to me, so I’m having a hard time feeling happy about the break. I don’t know why I’m so homesick. In High school I was never super close to my parents yet now all I want is to be able to see them. I’m wishing that I chose to go to the well-ranked college (not as good as the one I’m at, but still very good) in my city that I got accepted to and could commute to, or at least go home whenever I wanted to see a friendly face, but it’s too late now, and I’m going to have to stick with my choice.

Sorry that this post was so massive. I guess I needed to vent but I’m also wondering if anyone out there had a similar experience their freshman year but managed to turn things around. How did you do it? Do you have any advice? Thanks so much for any help you can give me. I just want to go back to the high school which I enjoyed so much, and I’m hoping that eventually I’ll be able to look back on college with the same fondness, but right now it’s not looking like that will be the case…