Not Enjoying College

pianodolphin
Sat, 28 Feb 2015 23:11:23 +0000

Well, here’s an update. I’m feeling a lot better than I did when I originally posted, but I still am not really enjoying my experience…

I’ve been more assertive about hanging out with the few friends I have (mostly from my hall), so I’m not always eating meals alone like I did constantly in the fall. They are really nice, but unfortunately I don’t feel anywhere near as close to them as I have to all of my friends in the past (like in high school and earlier). So I’m honestly still searching for friends, because I really doubt I’m still going to be hanging out with these people once we don’t live in the same hall next year.

I’ve tried about 5 clubs that matched my interests but none of them have worked out. One of them had only a few members who were already close friends and it was awkward. Another club I went to also seemed unwelcoming (they asked me how I had even heard about the club… apparently they weren’t seeking new members >.<), and a third wasn’t at all what I expected and wasn’t any fun. The two that I’ve liked the best either rarely meet or have meetings that conflict with my class times, so I hardly get a chance to go to those. I’ve basically run out of interesting looking clubs to try out now so I feel hopeless in that regard, because I thought that might be my avenue to making friends

I just feel like I don’t fit in at this school. The average student is really into partying, fashion, sororities/frats, hooking up, and it all just feels kind of superficial. I’m sure a lot of them are really nice people, and I don’t mean to judge them, but they are just so different from me that I don’t feel like I’ll ever be accepted. I guess I knew what I was getting myself into when I chose this school, but this was the most prestigious school that I got into, and I’ve always heard people say things along the lines of “you can be happy at any school” so I assumed I would be fine.

So now I’m wondering if I should just transfer to a different school, specifically one close to home. I’m wondering if it would look strange to grad schools if I transferred to a less prestigious school in my hometown?

If I do that, I can have the option of going home on the weekends more than I do now, and it’s also supposed to have a campus culture more like what I’m looking for. But I’m worried that it might look like I’m transferring because I’m struggling academically, which isn’t the case (have a 4.0). I’m definitely going to finish this school year, and I do see the light at the end of the tunnel fortunately (summer isn’t TOO far away now), but I can’t imagine struggling through another 3 years of feeling this lonely…