Not Enjoying College

pianodolphin
Wed, 17 Dec 2014 06:51:29 +0000

Thanks so much for the replies so far. Reading them makes me feel a bit better and I will try out some of the suggestions. I can’t figure out how to quote so I’m just copying and pasting things.

“When you say that the people you met haven’t turned into anything, why haven’t they?”
It’s like you mention later on - we might get together a few times and then after that I never see them again. With one particular person who I thought things were going well with, she found a new big group of friends on her floor and is usually hanging out with them, so the couple of times I’ve asked her to hang out recently, she already had plans. I tried out the whole “sit next to someone else who is eating alone” thing once and I met another person that I thought I might become friends with, and since we live in the same building, we assumed we would see each other again, but unfortunately I’ve never seen her again. There are some people on my floor that plans keep getting foiled with (because they are pretty involved in clubs/groups that take place in evenings which is when I ask them if they want to hang out) but they seem super nice (and I truly believe they are interesting in becoming friends) so they will be my first priority when I get back from break.

“But even if they don’t, I know that kind of sucks, but you don’t have to be friends with your roommate(s). They’re just people you have to coexist with.”
That’s basically how I’m looking at it at this point. While I’m typing this one of them just came in with a supply of alcohol and is inviting others into the room to drink with her. It frustrates me that I can’t get any peace and quiet, or alone time, but I’m just going to have to live with it. One of the girls next door is actually quite kind to me - she is the only one that seems to acknowledge that I exist. I think she is actually feeling kind of lonely as well and as far as I can tell she only parties with them to fit in. So she will be another person that I try to connect with when I come back. I don’t think we will be best friends, but it would still be a start.

“Why do I have the feeling we go to a same college? You go to a UC right?”
Haha, I was trying to keep my school a secret, but yeah, I go to a UC. I actually did try out your technique at the beginning of the year and it kind of worked once (although that friendship never went beyond a meal together, unfortunately) and was super awkward the other time :P. I’ll probably end up giving it another try, though. Thanks for the encouragement.

“Thinking of you – this is a tough transition. I think the advice above is great – but I would also suggest finding a service product or volunteer project to do.”
Thanks you for the kind words. I have looked into volunteer projects and haven’t found much (most of the opportunities seem to be off campus which I can’t commit to) but there is a service club that I tried out at the beginning of the quarter that I think I’ll start going to again. I’m sure the people involved in volunteering activities are nicer on average than the student body as a whole, so I agree that it’s a good place to start searching!