Not including "retirement" info on CSS...

momofthreeboys
Tue, 06 Nov 2007 09:24:21 +0000

I think the reason I’m engaged in this dialogue is because I wanted to go to Middlebury so bad it hurt and my parents said no. All the enthusiasm you pour into your posts about Chicago and Reed --I still remember that feeling. We lived in the Midwest where there are many, many superior colleges and universities that even in the 70s were substantially less expensive than the east coast. My parents could afford Middlebury, I got accepted, but they put their foot down and they they didn’t want to “pay” for Middlebury and refused to fill out any financial aid forms. I watched some of my neighborhood friends head off to exotic locales and I stayed in the Midwest, albeit at a very good private LAC that was strong in everything that I wanted. Life is what it is and in retrospect my life would probably not be all that different had I headed east and I loved my college years and I’m proud of my college affiliation. I think the most important point here and it sounds like you’re getting there is you need more schools on your list that you and your parents agree upon so that come spring you aren’t left holding the bag with nowhere to go. My parents “let me” go down the path of applying and getting accepted to Middlebury and as a parent, now, I don’t know why because they never, ever intended to pay despite the tears, begging and pleading that I remember well doing. Fortunately my parents insisted that I also apply to the state honors college and also to the LAC that I ultimately attended so I did have “choice”. Both my parents and some of my grandparents were college educated so there was no ignorance regarding education involved, frankly in retrospect, I think if I had sat on my rear and not found an alternative to Middlebury, they would have told me to go to the Community College in our town until I “grew up”. That’s how adamant I now realize they were regarding “the budget.” I could psychoanalyze the situation to death, who knows, maybe they wondered if I could “figure it out”, but bottom line is your situation is probably not unique. You need to do the research now to “find” those less expensive choices that will still fill your college wish list, they are definitely out there and it sounds like you are slowing moving in that direction. I don’t know your parents or your particular situation, but if they are communicating to you make sure you are listening and reading between the lines and understanding just how solid they are on their position so you don’t miss the signals.