Notre Dame Scholars

ddjones007
Fri, 01 Sep 2006 19:03:00 +0000

It is true that, in a school with a policy of meeting all demonstrated financial need, as well as a policy of no merit-based scholarships per se, the Notre Dame Scholar distinction doesn’t make much a difference in that regard. What it does do is hand a distinction to those students who may well be getting courted by a number of universities. I think, as far as the university is concerned, it is a way of saying “we think you are special, and we want you”, in the hopes those students will choose ND, even if other schools–such as state schools that award lots of merit-based aid–are offering a better cash deal.

At the time I was accepted as a Notre Dame Scholar in 1980, I was pretty darned excited, although much of that was lost in the fact that I was excited to have been accepted at all. In those days, there were a lot fewer women on the campus, and I was a non-legacy Albanian-American who hadn’t even really thought at all about colleges until first semester senior year, when counselors and teachers began to nag me about it. The certificate ended up in a drawer in my parents’ house, and handed back to me in a box with all sorts of other stuff they were ready to get off their hands once my husband and I bought a house of our own.

That certificate, which states “in recognition of outstanding academic and personal record achieved in the exercise of God-given talents. May this scholar be granted continued success and fullness of life.”

I had some serious health issues when our older two kids were very young. For that reason–and because I wanted to–I pretty much stayed home-based with them. Money was tight, as we really financially struggled through that time. I didn’t have a career outside the home, but assumed all sorts of parish leadership roles from, including a stint as Finance Chairman of my parish–the first woman to hold the position. I created programs, presided over boards and associations, chaired events, coached kids, both in my parish and the community. As my husband would joke–I did every conceivable thing that didn’t pay a dime. I was a pro at not getting paid–and we needed the money! We skipped reunions because we couldn’t afford to go to them. We scraped and pinched and sent our kids to Catholic school.

Meanwhile, my fellow Class of 1984 classmates were moving to the top of Fortune 500 corporations, starting their own medical practices and law firms, driving cars worth more than our house. There were times I couldn’t even open up to the alumni news pages, as I felt like a failure in comparison to all the executive vice-presidents and partners and surgeons.

Still, that Notre Dame Scholar certificate hung on the wall; it seemed at times to almost mock me. For a long time, I believed I hadn’t lived up to it. Success? I felt like I’d fallen off the university’s radar screen–what did they want with people like me? The fact that I’d spent my time at ND as an agnositc and a partier didn’t help boost my confidence.

The upside of hitting 40 is looking at the world with a more balanced perspective, freed from that nagging drive of “what people think.” And what I have come to realize is that, contrary to my feelings of failure, I was doing what Notre Dame wanted me to do. Maybe they hadn’t been wrong after all. I was using my “God-given talents”, just not in a way our economic system financially compensates. More than anything, I knew I was experience fullness of life.

That certificate was a visual reminder of what I could be, of what the University of Notre Dame thought of me back when everything was all potential, and all of life, it seemed lie ahead of me. They believed in me. That meant something.

Ultimately, I got healthier, and began to follow a path not based on what I thought people expected of me, but what I felt called to do. I write a political newspaper column now, and host a talk show in a small market radio station. I make a living doing what I love. I can speak from the heart about what I most truly believe. I have a great family; my oldest is a sophomore at ND, my daughter is a hs senior who hopes to be a Domer, too. God has provided and rewarded me with fullness of life.

For me, at least, the Notre Dame Scholar designation has turned out to be more valuable than a little extra grant money could ever be…