NYU debt! Please Advise!

Math_Guy
Wed, 16 Aug 2006 21:08:28 +0000

Hi guys,

I really need some help.

My girlfriend (who I obviously care about) is attending NYU and is financing 100% of her education and I’m losing sleep over it because I feel she is headed for a HUGE disaster.

She is older than 25, transferred from another school, and I predict she will have roughly 7 semesters (ie 3.5 years) worth of debt racked up by the time she is done. She has already finished 4 semesters. Furthermore, she is majoring in the College of Arts & Science, has a good science major but does not have any concrete ideas of a career post graduation.

My prediction is that her debt will be anywhere as low as 140 K (i.e. 40K * 3.5 years) to 245K (ie 70K * 3.5 years). I don’t really know the details b/c she just does not feel comfortable discussing them with me. But, my guess would be that she will be somewhere in the middle, like around 200K. Plus, I think she may have a few grand in credit card debt, but not sure exactly. From poking around the internet, I think that that the interest rates are around 6.8-7.5% on most of the loans (i.e. private and federal). The amount that NYU has given her in grants minimal – just a few grand a year!

Q1: Are these assumptions correct?

My gut feeling is that she will be BUST even if she gets a top job (ie paying 60K) – which I doubt. She’s a good student – but not outstanding. Plus she does not have many extracurricular activities or that killer instinct to go for the high pay / high stress jobs. Even if she doesn’t go bust, I think she (and maybe me) will have to live a CRAPPY life for a LONG LONG TIME.

Q2: Am I being unreasonable here? I’ve ran through soooo many scenarios, and all of them lead to doomsday!

I guess you can say that I am VERY frustrated at both HER (and her parents) and NYU. I’m UPSET at her because she did NOT listen to my advice on considering a more affordable school. Furthermore, she really did not make an effort to hunt down scholarships even though I recommended that she should really spend 2 weeks and go crazy with this. I am 110% certain that she could have gotten scholarships for her situation. I think she tried to get them, but I think she got discouraged when she could not find them easily. Plus, the financial aid office / people at NYU are bastards, and did not help her out at all. Finally, her parents are just not very involved in her life at all, so she basically suffers from “bad/no parenting.” So instead, she focused on getting a job (she found one that works well for her), but I think it was a big mistake b/c now she’s got some serious debt. I’m not trying to stick up for her, because I’m ****ed off at her! But I think that is why she didn’t listen to me.

I’m upset at NYU because they will basically RUIN her life (and possibly mine if we continue to be involved). NO UNIVERSITY should allow students to take on such debt! Or there should be laws that say, “We CANNOT ACCEPT YOU to our school unless you get X amount in scholarship on your own because you will BE BROKE!” I personally think that NYU should be sued.

Q3: Do you guys agree? Would you guys be frustrated by this situation?

Perhaps I’m just freaking out b/c I went to a good state school in the midwest, paid my way through, and graduated school with a small savings! Now I work in NYC and make >100K and I am BARELY scraping by trying to live a half way decent life! I know that I could NOT pay for those loans if I had them, esp since they are on an after-tax basis. I’m just so upset that I don’t know what to do.

Whenever I bring up the topic, she just says, “I’m not worried at all – everything will be OK.” I told her clearly that “I WILL NOT pay for your loans because I don’t agree with your choices,” and she knows that loud and clear. I don’t think she is the type of girl who would be using me, but perhaps I’m blinded right now by the emotions. Or perhaps she is using me subconsciously, and doesn’t even know it. She has told me that she WILL pay off her student loans, but perhaps that means getting a job and just paying for the loans and nothing else.

The bottom line is that I WANT to believe her, but I just don’t think it will be OK.

Q4: Will it be OK? CAN it become OK? I just can’t help but have a doomsday scenario repeat in my head. I would LOVE to hear anyone on this post who feels otherwise. I can just see it now….peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for all!

I have repeatedly tried to talk about this with her, but she doesn’t feel comfortable talking about it. She does a good job at dodging the questions, because she really doesn’t have any concrete answers.

Q5: We’ve been dating on and off (mostly on) for about 1.5 years, and I think we should be able to discuss this sort of stuff. But again, maybe that is just me. I’m curious to know what others think. Maybe I should just go and give her a good shake up before the school year starts? I don’t know what I would say though without sounding like an overly negative ■■■■■■■. How do I be supportive, yet frank? I feel that she has messed up her life SO badly so far feel like saying, “Get a scholarship for next year, or else….” But that is not a healthy/mature way of dealing with a situation. Perhaps it is the only way though. I just don’t know.

Again, maybe this is all just me. I hope so. I will seriously consider changing my views if many others agree.

MANY MANY THANKS for your help