off-campus finances among roommate -- suggestions?

anon94785555
Tue, 19 May 2009 00:19:47 +0000

Agree the roommates need to make the decisions- but parents can make suggestions which won’t be heeded. Son told us last fall the guys planned to eat together one meal per week, it never happened. Everyone’s name was on the lease, with a parent cosigner. We paid son’s share in several month lump sums- they figured out how much was owed based on single/shared room, size… One guy got the money for utilities from the others. One guy didn’t have to clean bathrooms- he ran/emptied the dishwasher for 5-6 guys instead. They all had their own food and a small refrigerator. I sent cleaning supplies in the fall- I figured if every mother did they may or may not have enough for the school year. We had 2 sets of old pots and pans which everyone used, someone else provided the dishes. I also sent along many kitchen extras from our house. Son requested some common use items at semester- it must have been his turn to supply them. Apt living is a learning experience- on a social as well as physical tasks level. Needless to say, different guys are rooming together next year, discoveries about habits et al …

As long as things are legal and acceptable to the students we parents can sometimes only shake our heads at how things were done. I will never know how they decided son’s share of the rent was as low as it was, I would have had him pay a bit more. There will be miscues among people- the person with one of 4 bedrooms who thinks he gets 1/4 of the common storage cupboards, the one who hogs refrigerator space, never cleans up… At least it’s not forever. Son actually cleaned up after himself in the kitchen here today! We can offer all sorts of advice but the kids have to experience some things for themselves to understand why we said things.

Finally- remember it won’t be a perfect setup, regardless of how many rules or other arrangements to avoid problems are made. Compromise is learned. Parents do best by never setting foot in their space except to help haul and carry during the move in/out (or, like me, you can “guard” the car and let them do the work). A pitstop at McD’s or elsewhere is better than knowing how horribly messy, etc things are when giving those break rides.

PS- if one guy “sheds” (son’s term) your child asks for a second bottle of Liquid Plumr at semester break…