Opinion needed on how to handle work situation

paying3tuitions
Sat, 25 Aug 2012 10:15:23 +0000

I suggest saying it with different language. To some in that generation, or all generations for that matter, “work policy” sounds bureaucatic and vague, requiring the addition of “strictly against work policy.”

Try saying this: “I can’t do that, it’s against the rules here.” Repeat that, but once only! If that’s not enough, add: “I could lose my job.” Say no more, no less. Then change the entire subject by asking HIM something. With short-term memory loss, it is less wearing (to you!) that way. Move the conversation along. If he asks again to meet out, rinse and repeat.

ALso realize that, with memory loss, each time you say something that’s negative, including that you cannot meet out with him, he has FORGOTTEN that you said it ever before. So, each time he experiences a little mini-rejection there. It’s sad for him each time. So if you keep that in mind, the compassion of that concept might help you deal with the irritation of answering the same things repeatedly. Memory loss makes people sad in that way. Short-term, but sad. That’s another reason to change topics for him; it’s a kindness to him, too.

Most people would never want to cause a young person the loss of their job. If he thinks you should risk your job over him, well, then you know the problem: he’s in his own world and doesn’t care about you in a 3-dimensional way. Rather, he just wants some companionship (understandable).

The idea of putting a l0 minute limit sounds good. Since you can’t physically move away from him (you’re in a chair, sounds like), you can give him that verbal cue. You’ll have to repeat the cue, also. If you can, find an object to place somewhere that requires you to turn your back on him briefly, to help reinforce the end-of-convo time.

ETA: If you’re quick on a wristwatch, you might set a 10-minute beep to interrupt you, and say, “oops, I’ve got to…[name some task that means you have to move away]. See you tomorrow, have a good workout.” Then you’re airtight professional; everything was work-related, although you shook away the customer.