Our coddled, entitled children

moonchild
Wed, 29 Aug 2012 18:45:25 +0000

Since we’re asking personal questions, were you coddled and entitled? Are your children coddled?



I know I wasn’t coddled, and I don’t think my kids were. (?)

I was the daughter of a high school football coach back in the day when teachers could barely eek out a living. (1951)
My mother was married and divorced three times, and my biological father died when I was seven. My step-father was verbally abusive, and I would go to school crying more days than I would like to remember. I was so relieved when my mom left him and married her third husband. He was great to us kids, but my mom and he didn’t always get along, so life still wasn’t too rosy.

As a female, I was told to take typing and shorthand in high school. I worked at Sears about 15 hours a week starting at age 16 (on the Teen Fashion Board), and then all through my junior and senior years I worked in retail, and continued through college. I also had a little money of my own (from my dad’s death- military dependent benefits) that I used to pay for my college tuition. I graduated UC Irvine with a degree in Philosophy and Music, and went for a fifth year for my teaching credential. (Women could be teachers as well as secretaries in my limited world view in 1973.) During this time my mother also worked full time as a secretary, an later as a bank administrator. All I knew growing up was that work was necessary for life, and what was important was finding a way to support yourself so you didn’t have to be dependent on parents or on a husband.

Needless to say, my kids have had a very different experience: parents with a solid and happy marriage of 40+ years; a home in an upscale community with excellent public and private schools; a mother who stayed at home during their childhoods and two parents who were involved in Little League, PTA, Boyscouts and Girl Scouts; music lessons, backpacking trips all over the country and vacations abroad.

I think my kids were highly privileged. Of that I have no doubt. But I honestly don’t think they were coddled, and they don’t feel entitled. I make no apologies. I’m really happy that we were able to give them the kind of childhood I would have loved.