Our coddled, entitled children

07DAD
Wed, 29 Aug 2012 17:08:08 +0000

Since we’re asking personal questions, were you coddled and entitled? Are your children coddled?



Me? I was born in 1950 and came from an upper-middle class family with parents born in the 1910s (1912 and 1915). Both struggled through the depression, but never were destitude. Dad put himself through college and law school. Mom did not get to go to college because her dad died and her mom had no skills so my mom supported that family before she married my dad.

My Father said to us that he’d provide food, a roof over our head and clothing but if we wanted other things we (my older brother and I) would need to get a job and take care of that.

You could work back then and we did. I started at age 10, turning 11 throwing a residential paper route, mowing yards, walking dogs. I added stocking at a drug store and sacking groceries. I also cleaned out (and up) apartments owned by a family friend when tenants moved out.

I shared the family car, paid the gas when I used it and for repairs if I caused the problem. I had chores–take out the trash, mow the yard, clean up after the dog, wash the cars. No allowance. My Mom was a very poor cook, so I learned to cook along the way and “helped out.”

We took family vacations. I went to camp when 8 and 9. I earned A LOT of money as a kid and saved a bunch. Our deal with dad was that if you earned it, you could spend it the way you wanted.

Me coddled? Yes, probably, since I wanted for nothing. Entitled? No. If I wanted it, I paid for it as a kid.

I have one child, a son born in 1988. He had to work but not starting nearly as young as I did. He pulled wires one summer for an electrician and, once he could drive, he tutored kids in math and made more than enough to pay for what he wanted (I also provided food, shelter, clothing). He attended camp each summer starting a age 7. He got the camp to select him to be the camper-dishwasher once he got to driving age so that he came back from camp with money for his stuff to add to what he made during the year tutoring.

He got use of a 1988 Blazer starting in 2004 (it had been a grand-father’s car who had passed away the year before) when he got his license but had to pay for gas and the increase in insurance. We also had the deal that if he earned money, it was his to spend. He had chores and no allowance.

Coddled? If that means not wanting for anything, then yes. Entitled? No.