Overbearing Grandma - Need Advice

JodyDG
Tue, 20 Aug 2013 22:31:59 +0000

Okay, so I have decided to go to college. My parents having been stressing about money but are glad that I’m gaining independence. I’m going in Health Information Management which has a lot of growth opportunity.

Onto my grandma; she sort of had left my father with her parents because she had no time for him, she was young, but still. Then when my parents had me, she is admittedly trying to make up for what she did to my dad. When he wanted to go to college she went nuts trying to make him become a lawyer and he just completely shut down.

Now that I’m going to college I told her what I’m going to do, all of a sudden she’s telling I have to go through for a Law Clerk otherwise I’ll be a bum with no money and a failure. I was also raised with her frequently calling me fat and ugly. Once again she is trying to get me to crumble and follow her dream which she is too lazy to peruse. I flipped out on her today in the car when she told me that there’s a reason I’ve been single and having a stupid career won’t get me anywhere. Well she has had over 8 husbands, taking all of their money, then cheating on them. I told her that I probably shouldn’t take advice from prostitutes. It was really rude and disrespectful, but when she has called me a slut for being raped, I would follow her word quietly and do as I was told which I found more damaging than anything.

I let our relationship get to this where I despise her, I no longer value her opinion and don’t respect. I know it isn’t right, but I don’t know how to respect her any more. She has broken me, my father and my mother down and she doesn’t even respect herself, but she is strong enough willed to push her choices on us.

I do appreciate her concern for me; her intentions are right, I believe but her proceedings are just so hurtful and wrong. She refuses to let me have my own independence because she screwed up with dad, but this I believe is worse. We have to manipulate and lie to her, just for our own independence and I know that’s so wrong, but she doesn’t seem to understand what a toll she is putting on us - even when we tell her up straight.

Well, I apologize for my rant, and I am a little irate. I tried the “yes ma’am, I know” way, and I found it much worse for our relationship. I just want to know how I can improve my independence and if possible my relationship with her? Has anyone else had it this irking and explosive? I hate being this rude to her, and I treat all my other grandparents and parents with extreme respect, but I can’t do it at all … Any advice guys?