Overwhelmed, where to start?

DadTwoGirls
Wed, 16 Aug 2023 23:02:02 +0000

I agree with other answers that one of the first things to do is to establish a budget. We took the approach that anything that we agreed to pay for the oldest was a precedent that also applied to all other children (one more in our case). I also told our daughters a “little white lie” and stuck with a budget that would not have been a disaster if things had gone 5 years instead of 4.

I also agree that finding a solid safety is a high priority. Often (but not always) these might be in-state public universities.

The third thing that I would put near the top of the list is for the student to think about what they want in a university. Do they want a small school or a large school? Do they want to be in a city, a suburb, a small town, or somewhere else? Visiting a few schools can help.

In terms of “large versus small”: A small school often will have smaller classes. A large school will typically have more available majors. Our oldest for example switched majors a couple of times, and ended up with a major (actually two majors) that some small schools might not have. Our youngest enjoyed the smaller classes at a small school and got to know some of her professors pretty well (which led to research opportunities).

Another issue is that the very top ranked schools can be academically very demanding. Students who are used to being near the top of their high school class might attend a highly ranked university and discover that they have become average. This means that classes will be aimed at students like them, there will be lots of other very smart students to be friends with, but the homework and tests have suddenly gotten more difficult. Some students will like this, some will not. For strong students this can be part of the task of figuring out what sort of university might be a good fit.

It can be helpful if a student has some clue regarding what they want to do with their life. If they want to go into nursing, or medicine, or engineering, or computer science, then this might point them to particular schools. For students who want to leave open the option of getting a law degree or an MD (or a DVM) they (or their parents) might want to budget for more than 4 years of university.