Paid Internships. Do You Subsidize?

HImom
Sat, 07 Dec 2013 20:55:26 +0000

Ah, the elusive concept of “fairness” to sibs. I think this can make the parents and kids crazy if they work at it too hard. For H and I, we wanted to make a good college education possible, funding that to the best of our ability. Our finances did fluctuate significantly over the years our kids were in college, since that ran from 2006-2013. Some years, we and the kids even got financial help from a beloved relative, which was much appreciated.

Our kids did NOT get the same amount out of our pockets. One got significant merit aid that paid 50% of his tuition for all 4 year years, plus several paid jobs and internships and other scholarships and grants over the years. The other child we were full pay, but she did get two part-time jobs in her field.

We felt no obligation to make sure we spent the same amount on each kid or put the equivalent in their account and still feel no such obligation. We always wanted to be sure that each had enough money to have food and safe lodging for all their years of college and summer, whether they lived with us or an internship. If either kiddo wanted/needed more funding, we instructed them to submit a budget and short proposal to us.

Both kids have had access to their savings (money given to us in the name of each child for birthdays, holidays, special events from loved ones) from the day they turned 18. The savings were NOT equal, as somehow S got a LOT larger gifts, probably because he was the first grandSON on both sides of the family. At some point, we may even things out when the kids are looking to buy their own place or need it for anything else.

As I have mentioned previously, my folks funded each of us through college and then helped pay off loans that any of us incurred for grad/pro school. The amounts were VERY different among us, but all of us were grateful for the funding we received and never felt that one got more or better than others. Dwelling on all of this can make one’s eyes cross and doesn’t seem overly healthy to me.