parent/child dissent

HarvestMoon1
Sat, 01 Sep 2012 10:01:02 +0000

Amazon, I think you are totally correct in expecting that your son make rational decisions in connection with his college choices. And yes, that includes considering what the employment prospects might be upon graduation. Unfortunately, adults and teenagers usually disagree on the definition of what constitutes a “rational decision”, so you need to look for some common ground - a solution that might work for both of you.

We, too, are a family that will not qualify for any FA whatsoever. I have already told my children to begin taking note of what their strengths and weaknesses are, and what subjects truly arouse their interests. They already know that we will finance 4 years of college and perhaps some graduate work, if they have formulated a path that makes some semblance of sense. From our POV, “some semblance of sense” means being able to support themselves at the end of it all. If they have not loosely defined their interests by their senior year in High School, then we have some terrific state schools where they can enroll for a year or two. I am also a huge proponent of taking a “gap year” between High School and College for those who are still undecided on where their talents might lie.

Our teenagers need our guidance, perhaps not in defining their inherent interests/passions but in finding a “real world” application for those passions. I think you do a child no favors by willingly underwriting anything (much less a $50,000 a year education) that does not have some well thought out purpose or direction.

Perhaps my children are different, but I find teenagers to be the quintessential dreamers - they really have no idea how tough the world can be. Further, they are facing a world very different from the one that existed when we graduated. I wonder whether they will ever be able to offer their children the gift of a fully paid 4 year college education.