Parent Guilt...when it comes to finances

moonchild
Wed, 09 Mar 2011 14:59:13 +0000

I do know how you feel, and am guilty of wanting to do too much for my kids sometimes. My son recently needed new tires and a maintenance due for the car that he needed to take up north for his fellowship position in the fall. He isn’t making much money with the fellowship stipend - barely breaking even, but he did have money in a savings account that would cover the expense, which came to around $1000. We let him pay for the tires as well as the maintenance , but I felt badly at first that he had to do it. But I soon got over it.
It can be hard for us as parents- especially those of us who can more easily afford to “help out” to let them take on these responsibilities. I think we deprive our children their sense of competence and independence when we take away the challenges that come with growing up, including the financial ones. I know it stung for my son to have to take out his hard-earned cash from savings to maintain his car when he was not earning much money- but hey, that’s part of adult life. But I do understand your feelings- I think it’s part of being a mom.