Parent of Gay Teens

kristin5792
Sun, 17 Feb 2008 19:37:44 +0000

One of my best friends is gay–he’s a freshman in college. Anyway, he went through much of high school without telling his parents and once he came out to them he realized how supportive they learned to be of his lifestyle.

He has mentioned on more than one occasion that having the support of his parents is one of the most important things in his life. I’m just starting to realize some of the absolutely horrible things done to gay kids and how emotionally difficult their lives can be because not many people understand their lifestyles. I honestly do not know how some of my gay friends survived high school!

It seems that you are definitely going to support him and that he just doesn’t know you will. Have you guys ever talked about homosexuality (not necessarily him)? Like, have you ever watched a movie with a gay character, discussed your sister, or just causally brought it up? Perhaps if he KNEW that you were going to love him and support him he would be more comfortable coming out to you.

According to my friend, coming out to your parents is incredibly difficult. There’s such a huge chance for hurt and rejection and nobody wants their parents to dislike them. I’m glad you are supportive of him!

I’d say talk to your sister about it. Is he close with her? Maybe he would be more comfortable coming out to someone that shares his feelings. Way to go on being supportive and understanding of his lifestyle. Do his friends know? Compassionate friends do wonders.

He’ll come out to you eventually. Just give it time! And to reiterate Marian’s point earlier, make sure his college choices are accepting of gay students. You could also check out PFLAG (Parents, Friends, and Family of Lesbians And Gays) for more ideas about support and understanding your son’s lifestyle.

He’s a lucky guy to have such a great mom. :)

-Kristin