Parental pressure horror stories

marite
Thu, 29 Jun 2006 19:50:06 +0000

Opie:

You’d be surprised at how many kids have more than had to listen to the speech. And because the parents have been controlling them all their lives, they probably are least able to fend for themselves now; noses to the grindstone, every minute scheduled so as to best position them for entrance into HYPSM, reminders of how much sacrifices the parents have made to get them where they are…

It’s hard for you and me and parabella to imagine such scenarios; except that I have heard stories like that many times over. Sometimes, the pressure is not even overt. I remember some Asian friends of mine being so proud of their only son–as well they might, since he was an absolute delight. But their pride in him made him drive himself even harder. They did not realize how much pressure they put on him until he came home one day and after a great deal of apologizing, he said: “I hope you won’t think I have failed you; I got a B+ in xxx course.” That stayed with me as I raised my kids.

Oh, and about controlling choice of spouses: I had the good fortune of marrying after several siblings incurred the wrath of my parents for not marrying “their own kind.” The fallout was not pretty, but it taught my parents not to meddle if they wanted to see their grandchildren.

Para: S1 majored in history. S2 is only interested in pure math. I haven’t figured out the practical applications of such a degree.