Parenting Question (Sports, Small Kids)

MmeZeeZee
Wed, 16 Mar 2011 14:52:47 +0000

“Again, please don’t mistake this for telling you how to run your marriage or your life – but it will be a difficult situation if your D perceives that “mom would be OK if I wanted to do X, but dad isn’t, and now it’s between me and dad to work out a compromise.” If she senses that you secretly sympathize, and that if it were up to you, you’d let her do X, it sets him up as the bad guy and it sets the two of you up to be played against one another. It also sets you up to resent him if he forbids your D and she’s disappointed / upset.”

Yes, all good points… I suppose if it does come up sympathetic family counseling will be in order. There is really not a lot I can do about my opinion or his, so that is just where we are, you know? I understand what you are saying and I try to be very transparent and honest with her, but it will not change that we are in a multi-cultural family. We disagree at times and sometimes one of us does say, “okay, honey, this is your dad’s decision. Don’t look at me–I have my own opinion but I respect his authority.” Or vice-versa (my husband would take my authority at bedtime though he didn’t agree and said as much).

Glad to hear commitment does not occur until 8th grade… and also thanks for the burqini link!