Parents Caring for Parents Support Thread (Part 2)

greenbutton
Thu, 09 Apr 2026 19:14:03 +0000

Arg, this is tough. I agree that for right now, the thing to do is let the lawyer know your mother’s concerns as well as her concern that your father not blame her. Maybe a simple “I am concerned about making such a huge switch” from her would slow things down.

I have every sympathy. My genial, loving, kind, devoted father became irrational, combative, and scary in his closing months. I really wish we had stepped in more forcefully to protect my mother from his behaviors (he wasn’t violent, but after 65 years she had no experience with this new cranky man). Declaring someone incompetent is hard and traumatizing in many cases and we didn’t do that either. But my advice from this side is to be less worried about him being mad, and more about her being scared.

Can you just ask him? “Dad, this seems out of nowhere and the girls don’t want the house. Can we stick to the excellent plan you already made?”