Parents Caring for Parents Support Thread (Part 2)

greenbutton
Mon, 13 Apr 2026 20:00:36 +0000

S2/DiL are expecting a baby this summer, the first great-grand for my in laws. They were invited to the shower since they are only 45 minutes away and we will stay with them and can bring them with us. She does not drive, he gets confused but makes excuses.

Today my FIL sent me a long email detailing the many ways his back ablation has failed and he has to take pain killers to get up and more in the afternoon to be able to walk. (this is a fiction; he takes tylenol and then they go driving around to auctions buying furniture and tractors. ) So he wants to drive himself and MIL to the shower “so they can leave when appropriate and not keep [DH] from spending time with his family” . Same people who flew to S1’s wedding last summer, but wouldn’t participate in anything, stay with us, and stayed at the reception for 60 minutes then left to hang out at their hotel.

He’s 85, and driving down the 4 lane hwy on a Saturday afternoon is a poor idea but DH predicted this and we are just gonna smile and nod. Already sent him a reply of “thanks for letting us know”. FIL also wanted to tell me that BIL “most likely” isn’t coming, so I got to say “oh no, BIL already said they would be there”.

It always makes me angry to see how much this hurts DH; our children, however, expect nothing from these people. Can you imagine? Thinking your only grandchildren aren’t worth your time because you’d rather go shopping? DH has agreed to turn our phones off – I am not leaving the party to go rescue them from being lost somewhere. Grrrrrrrr.

Meanwhile, my mom’s face is purple and black and yellow from the fall, and the AL is trying to figure out an effective way to prevent another one but OY the paperwork to get a rail installed. At least she didn’t lose any teeth