Parents caring for the parent support thread (Part 2)

Well, the good news is that the lawyer has been to see my father and they are working together to sort out everything. The bad news is things are more of a mess than I imagined. My father doesn’t even remember where he has all his bank accounts.

What?!? That doesn’t make any sense at all. They have zero right to any of your dad’s money. That’s just crazy. He could spend it on 100 Porsches if he wanted. I’m glad he removed your sister as executor!

Yep, the whole thing was pretty crazy. They objected to his going to an assisted living facility where they would “steal all his money”. It was completely my father’s decision, and a good one, as at that point he was having a hard time caring for himself.

I really think that if I had POA, things would get ugly. I could very easily imagine them going after me for whatever decisions I made. The neutral lawyer doing what my father directs and includes in his will and other instructions is the best thing.


Oh, my goodness, it’s a happy day. My dad called and said he and Mom have decided to sign up for the retirement facility that my sister and I liked so much last spring. It’s near their house, so it won’t be a big adjustment - they can go to the same grocery store and other shops. They will keep their caregiver for now, too. They’re going to move in within a month, hire a company to hold an estate sale, and then put their house on the market in July. I will sleep so much better knowing they’re in a safe space. Their house is too much of an obstacle course!


Great news! I know it was a big relief for me knowing my mom was safe.

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Oh, it’s so nice that they will go there together; I remember the stress of thinking about moving your mom while your dad was so, so sick.

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Just want to offer a high five to all the folks out there caring for parents. This thread was so supportive when I lost my dad in March. For those of you still doing your best, hang in there. You’re doing a great job.


Wow, that is such a fabulous decision on the part of your dad!!! I bet your sister is feeling really good right now, even though the next few months will be a lot of work. So happy for you, @MaineLonghorn! :heart:

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Great news! Will it be the unit they reserved earlier?

Thanks, everyone. No, my mom would have been in a one bedroom unit. This one is two bedrooms. It has a patio and access to the grounds where they can take their dog for a walk. My dad wants to take it but then get on a waiting list for a bigger unit! I think it’s hard for him to think about living in an apartment after living in houses most of his life. I think he will be surprised at how roomy it feels, though, since their house is so full of stuff.