Parents in denial

csdad
Wed, 23 Jun 2010 08:18:50 +0000

I’m a school psychologist who in 25 years has worked with hundreds of kids like the one described. My observations are that the majority of mothers of kids like this have a strong instinct to protect their sons from anxiety and failure. As a result they have a difficult time telling them no, making them work hard, calling them on poor character traits such as lying, selfishness, etc. They explain away failure as the fault of everyone but the son. They don’t appear to do this with their daughters to anywhere near the extent as their sons. I am not trying to paint mothers in a bad light, only to point out that they have this natural instinct that is stronger in some than in others. Homes with weak or no male figures only exasperate the tendency.
You hit the nail on the head when you said she is reinforcing the most undesirable natural tendencies of adolescent males…namely narcissism. The only way this kid is going to grow up is for either the father to step up and take control of the situation or for the kid to get out of the house and away from his mother.