Parents: Input Would Be Great

Faline2
Fri, 24 Feb 2006 00:11:46 +0000

Ok, here goes. Your son’s sense of college is about to take off, and is still malleable…as is yours. Stay open and make no blanket decisions re region or prestige only colleges. The faculty at schools not in the top 20 are often just as compelling as those in the most famous schools. Grad school placement stats are also great at schools less famous than those on your list. By all means prepare a couple or three Reach applications and have him put his heart in his essays, but help him see that a great undergrad experience can be had at many other institutions.
Your son is in the ballpark for his schools but you have to do a lot more research to unearth the hard facts and reality that his odds are actually nothing you can count on whatsoever. NJ sends many many worthy applicants to East coast colleges and is not a sought after state, although it is well represented at top ranked colleges. I think you should look outside the NE and Middle Atlantic states for either a match or a Reach option, too. Your list so far is made up of all Reach colleges which routinely create an “interesting diverse class of rugged individuals” not a class of high stats only. Schools with tons of applicants can afford to make what looks like quirky choices sometimes and can turn down perfect test scores and kids ranked first.

My son applied to three Reaches and four matches, although I am not saying that should be the plan for every family…in fact, I wish he had dropped one or two of his applications and only done 5-6 total. Because he really did like his Match colleges. He received one waitlist (which by the way he still was surprisingly teenage upset about considering the odds), and two surprise (unexpected) Reach admissions. One reason he probably was admitted to a Reach school was he was willing to move across the USA and leave his comfort zone…in other words, even though he was a white male without a very dramatic recent family story, he offered a very selective and popular school both geographic diversity and filled a slot that was probably needed in their cultural programming.
My son’s essays did a very good job at telling the adcoms what was particular about his life story, roots and sense of place and what he would be adding to campus. He also did at least brief classroom visits for all schools and did overnights at three colleges. This took a lot of logistical planning considering the fact that first semester grades are also a big factor senior year. One little tip…he knew someone at one college and stayed overnight there Labor Day so as not to miss high school and he did get a “feel” for the place after one night with the students. Overnights at colleges can be surprisingly elusive and rule bound…only a set season of weeks, only certain nights, never during exams or festivals, only if a student volunteer agrees etc…
If interviews were offered, he made sure to make deadlines and take that chance.
You need at least a couple Match colleges that your son would be pleased to attend. Although my S still surprised me by showing a lot of sadness at one waitlist…to be fair, he had attached to his match colleges and met professors and chatted up students at schools that were likely to be glad to have him and admit him. He had visualized himself as happy and challenged at his match colleges. If he had gotten zero Reach admissions, I am certain he would have also been happy at all of his “match and Matchy-reach” colleges. This takes working through an 18 year old’s issues with being unrealistic and also an 18 year old’s feeling “entitled” due to the fair statement that he/she has “earned” consideration from hard work and sweat equity and has produced stats in a schools top quartile. This takes working through a parent’s naivete as well.
Your S has a couple striking ECs that might make him appear to be a vibrant future member of the class of 2011 who has contributions to make in debate and music. this is great. Make sure to let his lights shine…not a time to be modest. When asked, write a Picture of how his talent is going to enhance life at College X.
Your S has made you proud. He has worked hard to extract the best out of the high school you sent him to attend. Good luck as you sort out where to apply. Attach to your Match is my mantra…and also give a couple Reach schools your total attention and a thoughtful application.