Parents need to BACK OFF

happymomof1
Sat, 20 Apr 2013 11:42:48 +0000

If neither of your parents were educated in the US, encourage them to read though the information at https://www.educationusa.info/ That will help them understand how higher education in the US works.

Harvard, Princeton, Yale, MIT, Stanford, etc. admit fewer than 10% of their applicants each year. This means that many students with perfect grades, perfect exam scores, perfect interviews, perfect ECs do not make the cut. Even if you are a perfect applicant yourself, the chance of admission at Harvard is less than one in ten. Probably closer to one in twenty. Your dad need to know that now. Encourage him to think of other places he might like you to go.

Pick several colleges and universities including your home-state public U, and ask your dad to sit with you while you run the Net Price Calculators at each website. He may not have a very clear idea of what each place is likely to expect him to pay. And yes, some families to find out that Harvard would consider them full-pay when truth be told, they can’t pay that much each year. If there are several children in your family, you should encourage your dad to think through the whole paying for college issue. Costs go up about 5% to 7% each year. In a blink of an eye, the place that used to be affordable, might no longer be quite so affordable.

I know that you love your dad, and want him to be proud of you, so this will be a challenging year. Help him sort through some other options that he finds acceptable. Make certain that there is at least one dead-on safety on your list (you are flat-out guaranteed admission based on your GPA and exam scores, you can pay for it with no aid other than guaranteed merit-based aid and/or federal and/or state aid, your major is offered, and you actually like it enough to attend if all else fails). If you have a Harvard-quality GPA and exam scores, there are places out there that you can attend for free which would mean that you could attend even if your dad hated the place and refused to pay a cent. Read up on that issue in the financial aid forum.

Wishing you all the best!