Personal Statement: ADHD, pretentiousness, self-consciousness etc.

rosymindedfuzz
Thu, 08 Aug 2013 23:44:52 +0000

BrownParent: I apologize for overlooking protocol – but seeing as I am mostly being advised to rewrite nearly the entire essay, I guess it won’t be too much of a problem. I will be sure to keep that in mind for future reference.

Regarding the first paragraph, perhaps it also gives off the impression of being overly-conscious about the application process. I feel it is a genuine admittance that I don’t want to be seen as trying to make my story seem as poignant as those of others. My intention was to compel the reader to view my story in the correct context, that is, by not solely comparing it to the stories of others. But seeing as the effect is being lost on nearly everyone who’s read it, you’re probably correct in saying it isn’t appropriate to include in the essay. I will also keep in mind your advice on voice, brevity, and the use of more concrete examples of rehabilitation, thank you!

Well I’m applying for a fall transfer next year, actually. If I’m correct, I can turn in an application as long as I complete all the required courses by the end of the Spring term.

Well, let’s say I do delay transferring and take a gap year, not necessarily taking time off, but use that time to build up my extracurricular activities. Would that be a better idea in the long run then, say, going to a less prestigious university right away? I’m not trying to fetishize Berkeley, I just think that with my major, going to any school of equal prestige might offer more benefits.

lookingforward: Thank you for your advice as well. Unfortunately, I guess being articulate is the only thing going for me at the moment, which explains the excessive length and (pseudo) philosophical musings. Obviously, it does not work very well to mask my subpar academic and extracurricular records. And I agree I do need to offer them more assurance that I can be a model Berkeleyan; I admit that I tried to squeeze it all in at the end.