Personal Statement: ADHD, pretentiousness, self-consciousness etc.

BrownParent
Thu, 08 Aug 2013 09:15:17 +0000

Please don’t post essays in online forums where they can be googled, it would be embarrassing to have your various drafts incorporating ideas from other people turn up should someone look. Or to have good ideas stolen by lurkers. The protocol here is to invite readers and PM them.

I think this needs rewrite to be pared down and distilled. The first paragraph can be got rid of entirely as I don’t think there is any appropriateness to vague speculation on whether your story is worse or not that someone else’s. Avoid passive voice or disembodied voice, avoid third person–stay in first person. Avoid whopping dense paragraphs.

You lack concrete examples of your rehabilitation. You just gave one here about your self study using khanacademy and actually testing into more advanced math–that sort of detail will make your argument more convincing.

Are you saying that your will be applying for transfer after your spring grades are out? If so, why write your essay now? If not, why will your spring grades count for anything?

If you will get into some UC you are doing great. I think it is bad advice to suggest you take time off if you clearly have some momentum and are on track as you say. If you can get into any UC then job well done, pat self on back, carry on. Berkeley seems extremely unlikely.