Personal Statement: ADHD, pretentiousness, self-consciousness etc.

Philovitist
Wed, 31 Jul 2013 03:46:41 +0000

First paragraph is not very good because 1) it’s too wordy and long and there’s no way that’ll grab and keep an adcom’s attention and 2) its content is too humble and doesn’t do enough to make you seem desirable over other candidates

The rest of the essay also has issues of conciseness, but succeeds in making clear that you have overcome a challenge and may now be capable of handling the target college’s work. It’s still too diffident, though. You have to make a resounding case for your admission here. Make your challenge a reason you are special instead of a flaw to be excused, and I think the message of the essay could be stronger.