Personal Stmt for Law School. BE BLUNT!

jonri
Fri, 14 Jan 2011 15:59:10 +0000

Inspired by that comment…this parent/attorney will answer. It needs a lot of work.

It’s filled with grammar and usage errors. Yes, we all make them when we write something quickly. A personal statement should be polished. This isn’t. For example, you write: “…driving with cautious…” I assume you mean caution. There are LOTS of grammar and usage errors.

The beginning sounds like a short story or creative writing piece. That’s NOT the tone you should be going for in a personal statement.

More importantly, it doesn’t answer “Why law school?” Now, as I understand the requirements, a personal statement does NOT have to be about why you want to go to law school. Yours, however, purports to answer this question…and doesn’t. There’s no natural connection between working with a church youth group and becoming an attorney. In fact, the sorts of things you say you felt fullfilled by are things that attorneys ususlly do NOT do. You aren’t going to take clients home to play basketball with your brothers. Nor are you going to talk to your clients about the personal obstacles you overcame–especially if they are paying you by the hour. (If this were an essay about why I want to get into a program for teacher certification, it might work. )

There are some books out there about writing personal statements. Take a look at some samples. You should also talk to the pre-law adviser at your college and ask for advice.

Now, I don’t claim that I am an admissions officer so this is simply my personal opinion FWIW.