Picking College Via Boyfriend?

calmom
Thu, 31 Jan 2008 03:22:03 +0000

. However, we’ve told her that we would not be happy with her traveling three hours on her own on weekends on the interstates to see her boyfriend, and if we found out she was doing it, we would confiscate her car. Now we are reluctant to even let her pick the medium size college, thinking she would be making the trips behind our backs.

Is there a way to make the trip by public transportation? My daughter has making the trip from NYC to Boston at least one weekend a month to see her boyfriend, with her boyfriend alternating and making the trip down to her – so they are together at least every other weekend. Her first year she usually took the notorious Chinatown bus; fortunately she now has switched to Greyhound. But I still worry about late arrivals back to her home campus, and try to track things so that I can be sure to call and check on her when she is on the way back.

Of course I am worried about the travel, but I would prefer even the Fung Wah bus to her driving alone. I also felt that for awhile that she was diminishing her college experience with the frequent commute, but then one day it dawned on me that she was enjoying student life in two wonderful but very different cities – a fact she confirmed to me, telling me that it was only in Boston that she had the sense of enjoying a true “college” life, though of course Manhattan is exciting and stimulating and her college offers a wonderful academic environment.

As to the boyfriend: he is sweet & loving and absolutely adores her, and they will celebrate their 3rd “anniversary” as a couple on Valentine’s Day. He isn’t my idea of a perfect life partner, but it sure would be hard for her to find a more caring and attentive mate – so I might just have to give up on “perfect” for my daughter one of these days and settle for a human being as a future son-in-law.

For my daughter, the trip to the bf via bus is at least a 5 hour bus ride, longer in poor weather or heavy traffic – plus there is transit time on both ends to & from the bus terminals. That the two are still going strong after logging all those bus-riding hours says something about their relationship.

Anyway, its not about what we parents want in any case. I would agree with you about the car thing – for obvious reasons, my daughter doesn’t have a car on campus in any case – but maybe now would be a good time to simply research public transportation options, and encourage the choice that would allow a good fit but also be within reasonable travel time of the boyfriend.