Please Critique my UNC essay.. thanks*

bettina
Tue, 16 Nov 2004 18:38:26 +0000

Overall - a good answer to the quotation.

What does this wierd phrase mean “the most unexpected soul in the class” who is the unexpected soul, you? Were you not enrolled in class?

“of the ignorance I once undoubtedly had” - how about “my preconceived notion/mindset” don’t use undoubtedly, it a waste junk word.

I feel your last two paragraphs are redundant somehow and need tightening.

Druggie? Not sure do you mean stoner, or is he tweaking and stuff in class?

“their mannerisms that truly” mannerisms is not the right word here. Attitude maybe or actions, or conduct.

Mannerisms

1. A distinctive behavioral trait; an idiosyncrasy.

2. Exaggerated or affected style or habit, as in dress or speech. See Synonyms at affectation.