Please grade essay on questioning authority

Aceventura74
Sun, 24 Jul 2011 17:30:59 +0000

Solid 11, if not a weak 12. You cited some fantastic examples. I’m assuming when you wrote this on the actually test paper you filled up all the space dedicated to the essay portion. You seem to have control over your examples and you did a great job linking them with one another (“Just like Socrates, the main character in Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury”).

I say weak 12 because your essay is missing one minor, but very important thing; vocabulary. Never (EVER) force vocab in, readers are trained to spot it. However, I strongly advice you to sprinkle some high level vocabulary in your essay. With your examples, you could fit in a decent amount. My 11AP English teacher graded all of my essays with 11s because of my low/medium level vocab. Then, she sat down with me and we wrote a list of high level vocab words that mean basic things (alleviate = to relieve, succinct = short) etc. Then, using these words along with my particular examples I scored a solid 12 on my SAT Essay (Oct. 2010). Perhaps do the same (not necessarily with a teacher, but with yourself)? With your style of writing, I can tell you’re an intelligent person, and you’ve probably memorized a decent amount of vocab for the Critical Reading section alone. Now just try to relate some in your essay and you have a solid 12. Hope I helped! (I don’t mean to be nit-picky at all, I just feel that someone as intelligent as you deserves nothing but a 12, and to get an 11 over vocabulary eloquence is just stupid). :).

~Aceventura74.