Please grade essay on questioning authority

darkmatter1over0
Sun, 24 Jul 2011 12:41:37 +0000

I think that the examples in your body paragraphs and your transitioning was great throughout the essay, I really loved your first 4 paragraphs. What I thought was a little weak was the conclusion. I really did like the 1st sentence, it brought the whole essay together.

However, the second sentence just sounded like a rehash of the same stuff you mentioned in your first sentence. I don’t think that it was necessary to bring up the examples in your body paragraphs again in your conclusion. It may be more effective to just elaborate on the effects of some challenging of authority on society there instead.

But other than that, this was a great essay! I definitely would give it a top score if I was a grader; I’m really impressed that you were able to write this well in such a short amount of time! (Conclusions are the hardest part of writing an essay, anyways, in my opinion :D) I always take awhile doing an outline on my essays, and don’t use enough time to actually write what I need to say. Cranking out an essay like this takes a lot of effort.
Thumbs up!