Please grade my essay =D

IceFire
Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:17:18 +0000

It would mean so much to be if anyone could please look at my essay. I know it can be tedious and annoying but this would help me a lot – the essay has always been my weakest point. So here we go.



Prompt: Should a college education focus on cultivating and encouraging the imagination of students or on teaching basic facts and standards so that we all share a certain amount of common knowledge?

Essay:

The purpose of education is that students learn about and learn from the past, and use what they’ve learned to improve upon life and the world we live in. This purpose would not be fulfilled if the education system doe not spark imagination. After all, learning can only get us so far, it’s using hat we’ve learned that truly impacts.

Thomas Edison invented as many as 2000 marvels that still amaze us today. From light bulbs to telephones, he was a man who changed the quality of our lives forever. Certainly he had gone to school and learned about chemistry and physics, but knowing the material very well was not enough for inventing what no one ever even thought about. While being knowledgeable about the sciences, the other key ingredients to his many successes were imagination and creativity. Without these, Edison could have understood everything about Coulomb’s Law and still not be able to “connect the wires” and lighten up the world.

It would be difficult to prove that the school Edison attended put more emphasis on imagination, but the moral remains the same. An education system, the college education being the most prestigious and impactful, should inspire imagination in addition to promote learning. In such a way, the world would continue to move forward.



Please be brutally honest. I know there are lots of punctuation errors and I know “impactful” wasn’t a word, but I couldn’t think of a substitute. Please also comment on the length and the example used, and whether I should include more examples. Or anything else that I should change. And I had no idea how many things Thomas Edition invented, whether he invented the telephone, or if he’s ever the person I meant to talk about.

Thanks!! =D