Please Grade My Essay! Much Thanks!

AlvinT
Thu, 27 Mar 2014 13:27:20 +0000

I really need help with my essay because it is one of my weakest part of the SAT. I greatly appreciate any form of feedback! THANKS

SAT June 2010
Assignment:

Is solitude—spending time alone—necessary for people to achieve their most important goals? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Because human beings are social animals, it is understandable for people to prefer company to feeling lonely. However, they often confused being with being lonely; solitude is not synonymous with loneliness. On the contrary, solitude is good for one’s character development and self-improvements because solitude grants one time for introspection. People will achieve their most important objectives if they take time to reflect in solitude. Acute analysis of the following modern and historical examples will demonstrate that solitude is important to one’s achievement of goals that are worthwhile.

Michael Dell, founder of Dell Inc., is an excellent example that illustrates my argument. At the age of 19, Dell was already a computer whiz and he had many novel business ideas which prompted him to consider starting his own company. However, he had difficulty realizing his dreams because his parents opposed to his idea of starting a business and he was preoccupied with school work. Nevertheless, Dell was determined to pursue his passion of starting a computer company. He quit college and moved to an apartment away from his others in order to create a conducive environment for him to work on his plans for his business. After a year of deliberation, Dell started his company, Dell Inc., which proved to be a great success, with sales reaching $150 million in three years. Because Dell could be alone with his own thoughts when he planned the start up of his company, he was able to create a company that would revolutionize the world of computer manufacturing businesses.

In the similar vein, one of Confucius’ disciple, Li Luxiang, created some of the most influential work while working in solitude. When Li was 24 years old, after learning a great deal from Confucius, Li became disillusioned with the world and its earthly temptations, such as money, fame and lust for opposite sex. He believed that his desires were hindrances to his pursuit of greater knowledge. Therefore, Li volunteered to live in a monastery for a year in order to develop his thoughts and ideas. After one year of hermetic life, he wrote several seminal and highly esteemed texts of complicated philosophical themes. Li was able to develop his scholarly views and philosophical ideas he worked in solitude away from distractions.

Based on the aforementioned examples, it is evident that people best achieve significant goals when they work in solitude. Away from distractions, people can work more efficiently in solitude in their various endeavors.